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Alisterdenise · Mar 13, 2009, 05:30 AM

I need to know when it is considered that your parter is cheating -I believe from the moment he-she starts having secret conversation/meeting with some one outside that is cheating - am I right or wrong

Romefalls19 · Mar 13, 2009, 05:32 AM

I don't consider that cheating, unless they lied about this meeting to you. Cheating I believe would be sharing an emotional or physical connection with someone outside of your current relationship.

Simply meeting or having a conversation isn't cheating unless a relationship or relationship topics are discussed

Alisterdenise · Mar 13, 2009, 05:41 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

I don't consider that cheating, unless they lied about this meeting to you. Cheating I believe would be sharing an emotional or physical connection with someone outside of your current relationship.

Simply meeting or having a conversation isn't cheating unless a relationship or relationship topics are discussed

He did lie and I no longer trust him how can we move forward

Romefalls19 · Mar 13, 2009, 05:43 AM

Well then you have to ask yourself a few questions:

1. Does he seem apologetic and sorry?
2. Can you forgive him?
3. Can you look past this, in time an trust him again?
4. What does he intend to do to proof his trust to you again?

Alisterdenise · Mar 13, 2009, 05:52 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Well then you have to ask yourself a few questions:

1. Does he seem apologetic and sorry?
2. Can you forgive him?
3. Can you look past this, in time an trust him again?
4. What does he intend to do to proof his trust to you again?

What confuse me is that he believes that it was my fault and he does not think that he did anything wrong and I don't think that he is making easy for me to trust him again we argue all the time and I am now feeling that its time to leave the relationship -in my eyes he disrespected me

Romefalls19 · Mar 13, 2009, 05:53 AM

What did he say the meeting was about? What are the circumstances around it? How does he make it out to be your fault?

neverme · Mar 13, 2009, 06:11 AM

I'd say it's time to move on, or at the very least getting close to that time.

Trying to rebuild trust in a relationship once it has been broken is difficult at the very least.

Trying to do it with no help, support and commitment from your partner?

Well you may as well be p***ing into the wind.

Alisterdenise · Mar 13, 2009, 07:04 AM

Originally Posted by neverme

I'd say it's time to move on, or at the very least getting close to that time.

Trying to rebuild trust in a relationship once it has been broken is difficult at the very least.

Trying to do it with no help, support and commitment from your partner?

Well you may as well be p***ing into the wind.

I think you are right I am tired off feeling drained - and I don.t think I feel the same anymore - I will be away from him for 8 weeks I think I will be a good time for me to focus on me and where I'm going

kctiger · Mar 13, 2009, 07:08 AM

I'm late to this conversation, and of course I don't condone cheating, but what did he do that you consider cheating? Did he just have lunch or a phone conversation with a member of the opposite sex? Are we jumping the gun in assuming you should just get rid of him?

zeeniee · Mar 13, 2009, 07:22 AM

Hey Alisterdenise, a bit more information on the situation would really help us understand your situation.

Alisterdenise · Mar 13, 2009, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

I'm late to this conversation, and ofcourse I don't condone cheating, but what did he do that you consider cheating? Did he just have lunch or a phone conversation with a member of the opposite sex? Are we jumping the gun in assuming you should just get rid of him?

No he actually went out with this person and when asked if he sleep with her he told me yes

He was doing the usual coming in at very late not answering the phone when I was in the room etc - what I con.t understand it that he came and told me about this - his words "ARE YOU HAPPY - I REPLIED YES - HE THE SAID - SOMETIMES WE NEED DIFFERENT THINGS IN OUR LIFE FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE-I REPLIED WHAT DO YOU MEAN -ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING - HE SAID YES - THEN I ASKED THE ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR - YES HE SAID -I WAS SO HURT IT FELT LIKE SOME HAD STAB ME IN THE HEART-HE DID NOT WANT US TO PART but at the same time he wanted to cary on - off course I did not accept that -what I don't understand why did he feel the need to tell me - why did I stay because I no longer trust - I don't think I have forgiven him - I feel that I am here because I need to punish him for betraying me - does that make any sense

kctiger · Mar 13, 2009, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by Alisterdenise

No he actually went out with this person and when asked if he sleep with her he told me yes

He was doing the usual coming in at very late not answering the phone when I was in the room etc - what I con.t understand it that he came and told me about this - his words "ARE YOU HAPPY - I REPLIED YES - HE THE SAID - SOMETIMES WE NEED DIFFERENT THINGS IN OUR LIFE FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE-I REPLIED WHAT DO YOU MEAN -ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING - HE SAID YES - THEN I ASKED THE ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR - YES HE SAID -I WAS SO HURT IT FELT LIKE SOME HAD STAB ME IN THE HEART-HE DID NOT WANT US TO PART but at the same time he wanted to cary on - off course i did not accept that -what I don't understand why did he feel the need to tell me - why did I stay because I no longer trust - i don't think i have forgiven him - I feel that I am here because I need to punish him for betraying me - does that make any sense

It makes sense that you are upset, it doesn't make sense that you are still in this relationship. You are only punishing yourself for wasting your time being with him. Get rid of him, cut your losses, and move on. Life is too short for revenge... you are better than that. It took a lot of balls for him to just say that to you as if it isn't a big deal, now show him the door!

Alisterdenise · Mar 13, 2009, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by zeeniee

Hey Alisterdenise, a bit more information on the situation would really help us understand your situation.

What can I say the situation is we argue a lot about everything - I feel used I am angry and I want revenge am I going mad

talaniman · Mar 13, 2009, 08:46 AM

Of course your mad, and angry, and upset, at being betrayed so coldly, and disrespectfully.

Best revenge, disappear from his life, and be happy with the one you rebuild for yourself. That means now, without fanfare, or explanation, and no forwarding address for him.

Alisterdenise · Mar 13, 2009, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Of course your mad, and angry, and upset, at being betrayed so coldly, and disrespectfully.

Best revenge, disappear from his life, and be happy with the one you rebuild for yourself. That means now, without fanfare, or explanation, and no forwarding address for him.

Thank you I believe you are right - and in my heart I know that is what I need to do