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New Member
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Mar 7, 2009, 07:00 PM
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Marriage at 16
Hey, I'm not sure why I'm here but ill just say it anyway. Me and my girlfriend have only been together for half a year, we get on amazingly and we trust each other completely. A few weeks back I bought an engagement ring for her, and yesterday I proposed to her. She said yes. It felt really great, and were already saving money. I know were only 16 but we love each other so much and I just came here to ask for peoples opinions and any advice would be appreciated
Thank You
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Full Member
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Mar 7, 2009, 07:22 PM
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I do not doubt you love each other, but at your age and considering the short time you've been dating, I would say a long engagement is in order. At LEAST till your both 18, though 20
's couldn't hurt either and would actually be better. The reason for this is that during that time you will be experiencing the "real world" for the first time, you will have bills you have to pay food you have to put on the table etc and you can't possibly know how much either of you will change during that time, because you will change. Very very very few high school sweethearts end up staying married. So take that portion of the relationship slow. That isn't to say you shouldn't move in, have sex etc so forth(though be smart, no kids get her on the pill or shot as they are much safer than condoms, and it costs less. Depending on the state, the women's clinic gives these things out for free as well so something to check into). Just hold off on the marriage for a few years, it can't hurt anything, and it could do both of you a great service.
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Expert
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Mar 7, 2009, 08:35 PM
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What ever happened about giving them your class ring and going steady.
Time to date and go out.
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New Member
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Mar 7, 2009, 09:49 PM
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Keep up the good work Mike. Just wait until your older of course. Its always sweet to hear about young love but 6 months is quite short. If your with her in a few years time (22ish) then marry that girl she's a keeper!
Good luck
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New Member
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Mar 8, 2009, 04:31 AM
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I'm 16 as well, when I was 15 I was the same as you, going out with someone for about 6 months, said we were going to get married and everything then there was a bad breakup.. since then I've had about 9 girlfriends in the last 6 months. Don't think your going to be with someone forever.
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Uber Member
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Mar 8, 2009, 06:07 AM
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If it's going to work, it will work when you are both done with high school. Plan out what things will cost you on your own. Ask your parents, or other adults, what their bills are like so you can get an idea of what you would likely be needing each month. Learn more about how the other person handles money.
Do either of you have career goals? What would it take to achieve them. College degree? Work experience? Both?
She really needs to be able to provide for herself if she ever ends up on her own. Marriages don't always last, spouses die... if she doesn't have some type of training and education that she can rely on, what will happen to her if something happens to you? Far too many women end up struggling to make ends meet when they find themselves no longer married (which of course no one thinks will happen to them!) and they postponed a career, or never started one, to take care of a home and family. As a loving partner, I'm sure you would want to be sure that she can take care of herself, and possible children down the road, if it ever became necessary.
Will either of you, or both, be able to hold jobs that will offer health insurance? Life insurance?
As you can see, there is much to consider. Enjoy your time together, have fun making plans for a future life together, but be wise and be sure to prepare for all that it will involve so that you don't have to struggle if marriage does become a reality for you.
Just think how much stronger your love for each other will be when you have had the time to share so much more, learn more about each other, and have seen each other through a few more years to adulthood.
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Uber Member
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Mar 8, 2009, 08:39 AM
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I agree with the others give it time and really get to know each other.
My big thing with people being ''in love'' is they get in too deep before they realize their 'love' can't withstand other things. Like do you know what she sees as her future? College, career, how many kids, pets, where she wants to live, who manages the money/bills, things she can't stand, things she wants to do more than anything, etc,,
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Junior Member
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Mar 9, 2009, 06:45 AM
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All I can tell you is wait until your older. You're a teenager, mommy and daddy can still ground you. ( sorry wife, I can't come over tonight I got grounded for not finishing my home work from high school.)
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Junior Member
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Mar 10, 2009, 03:19 PM
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I totally agree on all other posts about waiting 2 or 3 more years. If she truly loves you then she'll wait a little while longer to commit to marriage. You're first priority is to get through high school and graduate with a diploma. Waiting till you're older could be a good way to test your love for each other. If she sticks it out and waits till you guys are at least in your 20's then you'll know she was truly worth the wait. I realize the waiting period to get married might seem like foreever, but it could help build your relationship with her even stronger. I wish you the best of luck
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