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    DoNotWant's Avatar
    DoNotWant Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 6, 2009, 10:31 AM
    I Do Not Want This Child - Legal Rights
    So an old fling has contacted me, 3 months after I have seen her, and I haven't contacted her since. She says she is pregnant and the kid is mine.

    I'm not a deadbeat, and can pay child support, but I want nothing to do with this child. The mother is bad trouble, it was a horrible decision by me, and this is not something I want in my life at all.

    Please don't judge me, I feel bad enough right now even having to post this.

    What legal commitments do I now have toward her and the child?

    Thanks in advance.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #2

    Mar 6, 2009, 10:33 AM

    You will legally be responsible for child support.

    If you feel bad now, I imagine you will feel a lot worse in ten years when you can't take this decision back.
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #3

    Mar 6, 2009, 10:38 AM
    Well try to see it in the kid's point of view in 10 years. Imagine having a father that chooses to NOT see you, the only effort that he has ever put in was paying you to stay away from him [that's how the poor kid will see it].

    I understand it's the mom you dislike or hate, but it's definitely not the poor boogers fault.

    There are two different types of sperm donors.

    The ones that help other families have babies and the ones that leave a family by choice.

    Either you move far away and pay child support [you have the distance factor now so you don't have to be as much involved in the child's life] or grab your cojones and stand up as a man.

    MR.S
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #4

    Mar 6, 2009, 10:39 AM
    MRS.S oops!
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
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    #5

    Mar 6, 2009, 10:42 AM
    I'm sure this is a really difficult time for you - and I am not judging you, as I would not want to be judged for all the decisions I have made in my life.

    However, considering that the mother is bad news, it is all the more reason that the child will need an strong, stable figure in his/her life.

    I know this is not what you asked, I just wanted to say that.
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #6

    Mar 6, 2009, 10:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jjwoodhull View Post
    However, considering that the mother is bad news, it is all the more reason that the child will need an strong, stable figure in his/her life.

    Agreed!
    nikosmom's Avatar
    nikosmom Posts: 1,611, Reputation: 488
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    #7

    Mar 6, 2009, 11:18 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by DoNotWant View Post
    So an old fling has contacted me, 3 months after I have seen her, and I haven't contacted her since. She says she is pregnant and the kid is mine.

    I'm not a deadbeat, and can pay child support, but I want nothing to do with this child. The mother is bad trouble, it was a horrible decision by me, and this is not something I want in my life at all.

    Please don't judge me, I feel bad enough right now even having to post this.

    What legal commitments do I now have toward her and the child?

    Thanks in advance.

    I'll try not to beat up on you because I can tell you aren't proud of your feelings... but the bottom line is you are responsible for supporting this child. It's not fair to make that child pay for your grudge against his/her mother. This child will be a part of you because of what you chose to do and you have to stand up and do the right thing. The only thing you are obligated to do would be to pay child support; it's up to you if you want to seek visitiation (you may change your mind). You're not obligated to see him/her however, that's a personal choice if you decide to be involved.

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