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mrsmarisa · Mar 5, 2009, 10:46 PM

Hi,
I have a younger sister who is 23 never been married but does have a daughter, with out going into further detail, my niece is 6 her dad is nover around, doesn't pay child support, is about to go to prision. My sister wants all right taken away from the father. But she is not sure how to go about it who to talk to where to go. She wants to do it while he is in prision hoping that it doesn't give him a chance to fight it but more or less just signs everything to her.

Can anyone please give us advice on what to do and how to start.

JudyKayTee · Mar 6, 2009, 08:10 AM

Basically she cannot strip the father of his rights behind his back and without his knowledge. She should have filed for a support order a very long time ago. In certain States fathers can lose custody for certain crimes but I don't see this particular father being stripped of his rights without a good reason. Is there more info which is pertinent?

mrsmarisa · Mar 6, 2009, 11:13 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Basically she cannot strip the father of his rights behind his back and without his knowledge. She should have filed for a support order a very long time ago. In certain States fathers can lose custody for certain crimes but I don't see this particular father being stripped of his rights without a good reason. Is there more info which is pertinent?

HI JudykayTee
And thanks for the reply... She lives in fear a lot of having after 6 years him just being able to come and take her daughter. He has a horrible criminal record wit drugs , etc. and with the life style that he leads, he has in the past threatened to take her away but just out of meanness... He was paying child support... but can really not keep a job for very long, a family member kind of let the cat out of the bag and said he is working in a different state but he still doesn't pay the support, at this point no one can find him and she just kows he has a prision date sometime in March.

It gets very ugly if she were to talk to him face to face about it because he will throw past issues in her face. He has more children from all around, and he makes it noticeable that he wants nothing to do with my niece.

So after this, please tell me there can be a better way to handle this, or who my sister can get in contact with to do something.

JudyKayTee · Mar 6, 2009, 11:14 AM

Well, he can't come and get the child while he's in jail. When he gets out or is close to getting out, then she goes to Court and requests that he not have any contact with the child. She takes her proof and the Judge decides whether he's a danger to the child or not.

She can do nothing behind his back and probably should have moved on this a long time ago.

mrsmarisa · Mar 6, 2009, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Well, he can't come and get the child while he's in jail. When he gets out or is close to getting out, then she goes to Court and requests that he not have any contact with the child. She takes her proof and the Judge decides whether he's a danger to the child or not.

She can do nothing behind his back and probably should have moved on this a long time ago.

She would have moved on it long ago, but she knew little about where he was.
You have been a huge help and thank you, but the only thing she has trouble with is when he actually goes to prision, do you know about anything on how to find that kind of info.
All his family but 1 has moved and I think she realized after what she did she may cover up for him.

JudyKayTee · Mar 6, 2009, 11:22 AM

What kind of information is she looking for? The length of his sentence? (I'm a little lost here, not giving you a rough time.)

mrsmarisa · Mar 6, 2009, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

What kind of information is she looking for? The length of his sentence? (I'm a little lost here, not giving you a rough time.)

KNow I understand the only thing she knows is his sentence is for 4 months, but doesn'y know when he goes in or when he gets out exactly, so she can be prepared when he gets out.

JudyKayTee · Mar 6, 2009, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by mrsmarisa

KNow I understand the only thing she knows is his sentance is for 4 months, but doesn'y know when he goes in or when he gets out exactly, so she can be prepared when he gets out.

Okay, 4 months, got it. Then if I were her I would go the Court in your area which handles these matters (in my area it's Family Court) and inquire about filing a Petition for custody, support and supervised visitation ONLY. I don't think she can get visitation totally denied. By the time the paperwork gets completed and she gets to Court it very well might be four months. Plus at the moment the Court system can find him.

mrsmarisa · Mar 6, 2009, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Okay, 4 months, got it. Then if I were her I would go the Court in your area which handles these matters (in my area it's Family Court) and inquire about filing a Petition for custody, support and supervised visitation ONLY. I don't think she can get visitation totally denied. By the time the paperwork gets completed and she gets to Court it very well might be four months. Plus at the moment the Court system can find him.

My sister and I both apprecizte you and your time. You have been a big help in this whole situation. Thank You

JudyKayTee · Mar 6, 2009, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by mrsmarisa

My sister and I both apprecizte you and your time. You have been a big help in this whole situation. Thank You

If you have any questions, please come back. Come back anyway and let us know how it works out.

Good luck - she's lucky to have you for a sister.

ScottGem · Mar 6, 2009, 01:57 PM

If you browse through some of the thousands of threads on this issue, you will find that getting a TPR is very difficult. So I would aim lower. I would ask for Full legal and physical custody with NO visitation and a restraining order against him. You can settle for supervised visits if the court seems reluctant to totally cut him off.

Make sure you document his criminal record and anything else that you think will show him to be a danger to the child.

mrsmarisa · Mar 6, 2009, 04:36 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

If you browse through some of the thousands of threads on this issue, you will find that getting a TPR is very difficult. So I would aim lower. I would ask for Full legal and physical custody with NO visitation and a restraining order against him. You can settle for supervised visits if the court seems reluctant to totally cut him off.

Make sure you document his criminal record and anything else that you think will show him to be a danger to the child.

Your answer was very helpful... some of the things you mentioned are something that I was just telling my sister myself about.