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simpsonenight · Mar 6, 2009, 04:40 AM

Okay.. Here is my story. There was this guy thai I liked a few years ago. I was young then. I was just 11 or 12. He was my crush, I like him very much. The problem is that we weren't really introduced formally. I haven't really took the time to know him that well. I was contented liking him from afar. He doesn't know that I like him at that time. We graduated from school when we were 12 and we went to our separate ways because he transferred to another school. I continued my life and I found myself developing feelings to some guys at my school but I still remember him sometimes and nothing serious. They were about 3 guys that I had liked but I always find myself coming back to him. My feelings to the other guys fade and I find myself remembering him always. I'm 16 now and it has been 4 years now. What can you say about what I'm experiencing? Help! I need some advice.

gunsta · Mar 6, 2009, 04:53 AM

Just live!! That's all! =)))

kp2171 · Mar 6, 2009, 04:58 AM

My experience is your first big love does fade... its just a long, long process.

Takes a long time for you to leave that love in the past and to move on. Much longer, sometimes, than you'd ever think was reasonable.

But, in time, you'll see how holding onto the past is just noise. It's the past. Its over. Even if you ever dated that person again, they aren't the same person. People change, relationships change.

I might have some fond memories of past loves, even good memories with those who hurt me terribly. But its distracting for me to think about how that past relationship was "better" because... fill in the blank.

Every new relationship has new nuances. For ex, my first big love... I knew her so well I could finish her sentences... she swore I could tell her what she was thinking just by looking at her. Never had that same kind of connection with other loves, not to that degree, but that doesn't mean other loves were "lacking"...

Another love, we had an extreme charge together. A playfulness that was great. We laughed ALL the time.

So... you need to stop contrasting and comparing so much. Sure... its good to think about what things you liked about someone, and how they treated you... but don't lock into the idea that there is just one great person out there for you. Doesn't work like that.

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 6, 2009, 07:16 AM

I think you will always remember your first love even if it didn't work out... because they were the first person to make you experience those feelings. You will probarly always feel fondness for that person.

There are many men out there, try not to compare because everyone has different traits, good and bad. Like gunsta says just live that's all!!

talaniman · Mar 6, 2009, 10:22 AM

Just because you haven't met someone that makes you feel that intensity with, doesn't mean you won't.

As you said you didn't have a chance to get to know him better, so what your feeling is the good things you remember, and are keeping alive in your mind about him.

While its normal for young people, and old alike, don't let those memories close your mind to new people, and opportunities to get to know them better.

Enjoy the now, and who is in your life now.

simpsonenight · Mar 7, 2009, 07:19 AM

Help me please!!

Stringer · Mar 7, 2009, 06:50 PM

Since you never really had a 'relationship' with him in a conventional way, you may be feeling about what it could have been, possibly living a kind of fantasy of unfinished business.

I agree with the other posters; you have to live in the present and for the future... by continuing to long for something that may or may not have been is inhibiting you and putting your 'present' on hold... not good. Live for each day and be happy, a relationship should be an additional benefit to your already happy life.

Stringer