[coco1]

I am a 25yr old female. Recently went on a (rare) date with a guy. Went really well. Had quite a lot in common with him. He said we could go out again. Since, he just makes working late an excuse. Haven't heard from him in a week. Then at weekend, was happy as met a different guy, who gave me lots of compliments, got on really well. He seemed nice and said we could go out on thu (2nite). Haven't heard from him since Sunday. Straightened my hair and all that, in case he called at last minute. Still haven't heard anything. Should I text him or just leave it? They hold my hand, etc, seem keen, then never want to go on a 2nd date. Is there something wrong with me? I do have a life! :-)

[valinors_sorrow]

Could it be something as simple as your pace and their pace are two different speeds?

[Wildcat21]

Don't text him.

Meet other - guys - if they call - your busy as well - play hard to get as well.

Don't be too available to these guys

[Skell]

Could you be coming on a little too strong on the first date?
Some people get scared off by this.

Play it cool. Be fun, have fun, laugh and enjoy yourself. Don't take yourself really serious on the first date.

Be a little mysterious and keep them guessing. I bet if you do that they will be intrigued by you and call again.

You just have to relax and play it cool. Keep it light and fun early on and no pressure. Don't put too much importance in them which I'm guessing you might as you said it was a 'rare' date.

Play a litle hard to get. It works with guys and girls!

[YeloDasy]

I am not that much older than you and I have been through the same things, and so have my friends... there are some guys that just don't call back. Also, I noticed that you said dating is rare for you... and in that case, this is kind of like practice, just go on a date, have fun, enjoy yourself, and learn about what you want and don't want... no pressure! Just practice what dating is like... get comfortable with it... sounds like you are, but you also said it was rare... I had to get used to it after being in long term relationships... and I did my share practicing being on a date... knowing that it might not work out... and sometimes, like I said, they don't.. and that's okay... if they want to see you, they will call... you can give them the benefit of the doubt, but make sure you are not too available, or let them disrespect you!

[Krs]

I agree with all your answers given so far, but on the other hand, could be an idea and some may disagree.

Seeing as it was only your first date and you are intriged to see why he didn't text you, I would text him, nothing out of the ordinary but a simple text message saying" hi, how are you" and you can even ask to meet again, show initiative and see if he replies, that way you will know whether he is worth hanging out with or not! You will know where you stand.

Don't you think? Just an idea :)

[YeloDasy]

I think if you got a good vibe, then yeah, text him to say hi... no pressure, just hi. I had one guy tell me that he was really interested in seeing me again and was asking if I was interested as well, but I didn't hear from him for a few weeks... and I believed this guy... so I texted him, said hi... and when he said hi back, I asked him to play pool and he was all over that... he was happy that I said hi, he had just been really busy.

But beware... you want a guy who shows you that he is interested! As long as this is not a pattern! :)

[Krs]

I think if you got a good vibe, then yeah, text him to say hi.... no pressure, just hi. I had one guy tell me that he was really interested in seeing me again and was asking if i was interested as well, but i didnt hear from him for a few weeks... and i beleived this guy... so i texted him, said hi... and when he said hi back, i asked him to play pool and he was all over that... he was happy that i said hi, he had just been really busy.

But beware... you want a guy who shows you that he is interested! As long as this is not a pattern! :)

I totally agree.

[ilovcali]

There's nothing probably worng with you. You're just single and maybe you don't want to be. Honestly, if you really like the guy, text him. But I'm old fashioned, and I'd say girls that I HAVE REALLY LIKED, I liked to chase!

The chase is part of the fun. Girls I didn't have to chase, I didn't really want too. But that could be just me. I'm a guy who likes the chase. That actually makes me realize that I like the girl.

I remember one girl I dated who I still care about deeply, I called her once a week for 3 months. We would talk for a little bit. I never was disappointed if she said she didn't want to hang out. I always doing something. But she finally did say yes. I actually found out later, she was going through a messy break-up during those 3 months.

I dated her for 4 months. We broke-up because she left for a new city. But the chase is fun. She had fun with the chase, so did I.

[valinors_sorrow]

And at the risk of sounding off topic here, the thing about what's written on any of our foreheads is... we wrote it. So its entirely possible to erase it or even rewrite it too! Figures of speech can often be clues to how it really is-- if we tune our ears to listen like that. Just a thought.

[talaniman]

Erase the idiot on your forehead as I don't think it applies to you at all, but I do hope you continue to date and have fun and don't worry if they don't call back. Just move forward. Sounds like your looking for a relationship but I'd advise against it for now until you've dated enough and are comfortable just enjoying yourself. So stop worrying so much and enjoy the dating scene with out the pressure to hook up with some one.

[LUNAGODDESS]

• a
  • YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT
  • DONOT LET YOUR DATE THINK THAT YOU ARE INSECURE
  • DID YOU LET YOU DATE KNOW THAT YOU ARE INSECURE
  • IT HAS ONLY BEEN A WEEK
  • HE HAS NO MONEY...SO WHEN HE GETS SOME HE WILL CALL
  • YOU CAN CALL HIM
  • DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH HIM ON THE FIRST DATE
  • COME ON YOU CAN TELL ME
  • IF YOU DID HE WILL CALL AROUND ...2 A.M.
  • DO DATE OTHERS ...
  • DO NOT RELY ON ONE DATE AS A RELATIONSHIP...
  • THAT SHIP CAME IN THE DOCK AND ANOTHER WILL COME
  • I SEE OTHER PEOPLE

[s_cianci]

I'd just leave it. You have a life, so what's the big deal if these guys don't call you again? You don't need them. In all likelihood these guys have lives too and are busy (working late, etc.) and don't have a lot of time on their hands. Based on your post, about the only immediate advice I can give you is to respect your own time and insist that others do the same. Don't wait for someone to "call you at the last minute." If someone makes a date with you for Thurs. make sure you have definite plans as to what time he'll pick you up or when and where you're meeting if you're taking your own car (although I personally would prefer having him pick you up.) Then be ready on time. Then, if he commits a breach of courtesy by being late or not showing up at all, without a good reason (i.e. a life-threatening emergency, either his own or a close loved one's), then that rests on him as a lack of character on his part and is your cue to scratch him off the list. If, however, when making a date he gives you a runaround like "I'll call you on Sat, and let you know for sure what time", don't accept that approach. Respond with something like "Well, if you're unsure of your schedule then I'll make other plans for this weekend and we can make it for another time." He'll either get the message or back off and look for someone who will tolerate that sort of treatment and in time you will attract those guys who'll play it straight with you.

[Wildcat21]

Hey Cali - remember that chase with what you are going through now... baby steps... don't get to worked up wit hthe ups and downs...

Personally - I bet, eventually just calling your old gal and chating - no pressure - no tough questions - no asking gto hang out. She may want to talk because what she is learning from her therapist.

If that therapist is any good she will identify this problem with her friend.