[HELPQUESTIONER]

I have been trying to get my son on social security disability - he is 31 years old and has had more than 32 jobs since turning 18 - he cannot keep a job because he either gets fired or he quits because he cannot take what he feels is either smart-alec or over-bearing attitudes by co-workers, supervisors, or customers - at one of his last jobs the police were called because he threatened to throw something down in response to something his supervisor said to him - he said after he had not been working for a time, "it seems people must have a psychosis that makes people assume his frustration is anger." - all of his life I have had extreme difficulty with him getting him to behave - he has always reacted in the extreme, even hitting me and hurting me at times especially when he was a teenager - I am trying to get him on disability so he won't have to live with me because he still blows up if I tell him one or two things to do - his blow ups are sometimes nearly physically violent - his blow-ups are irrational and unreasonable and they are extremely frightening - he has lived with a girlfriend who also said that his blow-ups were extremely frightening -my son has had verifiable brain damage, I think he was born that way - he has also had multiple contusions and concussions since birth from accidents and incidents -bringing him up was a horrible ordeal - it was a constant nightmare his entire life and now for most of mine - he has two neurological reports that say he has brain damage - he has also had one report that says he has extreme memory problems - his medical records are now over 4 years old and because of that they are not acceptable to social security - my mother who is a psychologist has always said there was something wrong with my son -- yesterday I took my son to a psychiatrist hoping to get a referral to Tennessee vocational rehab which would do a complete memory work-up on my son for free - the psychiatrist said he has never done such a thing and didn't know anything about that - he said there is nothing wrong with my son and all my son has to do is put his mind to it and keep his mouth shut, stop listening to me and my mother about what my son is able to do, and that my son can do anything he wants to do - is this right? - is there really nothing wrong with my son? - is this kind of behavior in the home and at work normal? -the psychiatrist said that if he or even I had a brain scan or MRI that it would probably show that we had some kind of brain damage too - I really need some answers because the deadline to file an appeal is 3/29/09.

[twinkiedooter]

If your son already had a disability hearing and was denied disability you are able to then go to an attorney who specializes in social security disability matters. The attorney will not charge you a fee for this but take his fee from any lump sum benefits you son may win.

Has your soon ever been tested for bipolar? From the way you describe his behavior, the bipolar is probably a good bet for what is his problem mentally. I can't say for sure as I am not a doctor, but I have lived and worked around bipolar people and he sure acts like they did/do.

Look in the phone book for attorneys who specialize in social security disability. Be sure to take your denial paperwork to your appointment. Do this as soon as possible.

[Jake2008]

Has he ever been diagnosed with a psychiatric condition such as ADD or ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, depression?

That his behaviour has had a very long history, I am presuming at some point he has been in treatment for one or more of the above.

I would say that the same pattern has been repeated over and over, with predictable results, as you said with relationships and having had 32 jobs since age 18 for example.
The behaviour in my opinion, is a result of something other than he can't get along with people.

It may not be brain "damage" in the sense that he had concussions, or was in a bad car accident, but more of a physiological problem, undiagnosed, that has been with him since he was a child. You are seeing the manifestations of the same behaviour he had then, only in adult form now.

Not knowing more, my opinion is to have him thouroughly evaluated by a Psychiatrist. Have a list, or letter or summary of all that you have noted about his behaviour over the years, and see what he comes up with.

It may be hard to get a 31 year old to submit to such an evaluation, but he needs to be properly assessed in my opinion.