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sommerlc · Feb 24, 2009, 10:00 PM

I live in NYS. My daughter is 5 months old and her biological father (paturnity has never been established) has not had anything to do with her or with me since I was 4 months pregnant. My fiancée (who I am marrying in two weeks) has acted as her father since before she was born. He wants to adopt her after our marriage ( we would also like to stop the biological from returning later if he changes his mind). If he agrees to terminate his rights how do we go about doing that? Is there a form he needs to sign? Do we have to go to court? Does it matter that my daughter receives medicaid?

Synnen · Feb 24, 2009, 10:07 PM

You absolutely still have to go to court. Adoption is a LEGAL process, and must be done through our court system.

To voluntarily terminate parental rights means that you must go to court and assert to a judge that you understand what exactly it is that you are giving up. You cannot just "sign a piece of paper" and have it be done.

I really suggest that ANYONE doing ANY sort of adoption do so with the help of a family law attorney. There are just too many variables (varying state laws and local requirements) to give a stock answer about adoption. You need someone who understands EXACTLY what needs to be done to make sure that everything is legal and binding--ESPECIALLY if you don't want the biological father coming back.

Your fiancé may need to be your husband before you can start this, although some states do not require that.

Your fiancé will ALSO need to understand that if anything ever happens to the relationship between the two of you that he will be the legal parent of the child--and responsible for child support, etc.

As far as medicaid goes--I don't know. Your child may or may not qualify for it after you are married anyway. Again, you would have to ask your local services about it, giving them the specific details of your situation, including all income and such.

stevetcg · Feb 25, 2009, 08:54 AM

To add to synn's answer - if paternity has never been established, that will actually have to occur before a TPR can process. It will most likely be part of the same proceeding, but will lengthen the process, possibly significantly.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 25, 2009, 09:11 AM

Yes since paternity has not been established it will be a little harder since you have to prove it first.
But yes you will always have to go though court, first your attorney will draw up adoption papers and papers having him sign over his rights after he is proven the father.

Then there is an adoption hearing and the judge signs it off.