[lottery]

My husband and I both in our middle fifties. We haven't been get on well for several years and have not live together for almost a year due to his work, but had always spent xmas together. Recently he make some excuse not want to spent coming xmas with me and our disabled daughter. When I challenged him, he becomes very aggressive and nasty.
What'll be a right approach, so he can honestly admitted what he is up to.

[starbuck8]

May I ask you how long you have been married, and why you would endure this kind of behaviour from someone you are married to? This doesn't sound like a marriage in any way, shape, or form. His behaviour sounds very emotionally and verbally abusive, and very wrong. I know that you must know this yourself.

Husbands and wives do not live apart for a year. Husbands do not spend holiday's away from their wives and children! Marriages are a partnership, and real fathers are there. It doesn't matter what type of work he does, this is not acceptable in any way! You and your child deserve more than this man's feeble attempts at excuses.

Are you staying married for the money he sends? That's assuming that he does send any money. It would help to know the reasons you are staying in this farce of a relationship, and letting him intimidate you like he does. Is it because of your disabled daughter? Are you afraid that if you divorce him you will lose benefits?

I can tell you what he's up to. He's got his own life separate without you and his daughter! He has someone else he is spending his time with. That is as visible to me as the nose on my face. He's playing you. He is up to something, and whatever it is, it is nothing good!

No respectful, loving husband would take a job away from home, and not live with his wife and disabled daughter for a year, and not spend holidays with them.

I would tell him that you "know" what he is up to, and you will not stand for it any longer. Tell him his bags will be packed if he ever decides to come home!

Please stick up for yourself and your daughter. If for no other reason than to show your daughter that this is no way a woman should be treated. This sounds like abusive behaviour to me, and you do not need to tolerate this from your husband. I use the term "husband" very loosely here. This isn't how a husband, or a real man treats his family!

Please give us a little more information, so others here can give their input.