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km726 · Feb 18, 2009, 03:07 AM

Hi I'm new to this and I'm scared for my g.f we've been together for almost a yr now and we both love each other so much and lastnight her dad hit her when she went home and I culdnt stand her telling me about it, it hurt so bad and I don't know what to do b.c she is a minor and doesn't want to involve the police,etc... b.c she feels she will be put into another home b.c I guess this is not the first time it has happened.(I had no idea till tonight)
Can anyone give me advice on what I shuld do
Cause I feel helpless even though I'm helping her as much as I can but I don't feel like it will fix the problem

tickle · Feb 18, 2009, 06:07 AM

That has to be the one of the worse forms of abuse, parental physical abuse and I don't wonder you are so concerned about her wellbeing and safety. Someone has to be informed, km. May it is just for the best that she is out of that house. Is he a foster parent ? A step dad ? I suggest she should talk to a counsellor at school to get the ball rolling in a subtle way if she doesn't want to involve the police right away. But something HAS to be done. And it is just so hard being on line and here and having one's hands tied.

Tick

Fr_Chuck · Feb 18, 2009, 08:17 AM

If it is true, then she needs to report it to the police, or a teacher at her school or to call social services.

What happens will depend on many factors, but her not being hit again will be the main thing to look for.

Now I also say this , if it happened, and I know it happens for too many times each day in the US. But also some girls look for pity from the boyfriend in a attempt to control a relatationship. So when you saw her the next time did she have a bruise, was there a mark where she was hit, a black ey, or something.

tickle · Feb 18, 2009, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

. So when you saw her the next time did she have a bruise, was there a mark where she was hit, a black ey, or something.

Yes, never thought of that aspect.

Tick

artlady · Feb 18, 2009, 02:30 PM

Speak to your parents and ask their advice.
Clearly,this is something that if left to continue will impact your friend in a negative way for her life.

She may be afraid to leave home or be put in foster care and then again the courts like to keep families together and may just enforce mandatory counseling.

A lack of a bruise is not an indication of guilt or innocence.If he is a repeat offender,he may very well know how to achieve his aim without causing outward damage.

Talk to your parents or an adult you trust!

km726 · Feb 18, 2009, 11:35 PM

Yea she had brusis she is not trying to control are relationship her dad is a psycho he doesn't even know were going out her mom even hides it from him