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Justwantfair · Feb 18, 2009, 08:17 AM

Well married guys without any sense of morals would jump all over free oral also because it is still FREE!

The fact that he is cheating on his wife too, does NOT mean that he loves you.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 18, 2009, 08:36 AM

Well just tell him, I am going to call your wife and tell her it is over between the two of you and we can be together forever and lets see how fast he runs.

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Well just tell him, I am going to call your wife and tell her it is over between the two of you and we can be together forever and lets see how fast he runs.

True... I said that before and he said that he only married after he found out that the baby was indeed his and didn't want her to get him for child support. He do love her he she has his heart just like your husband has yours... but if you want to be together we can but then he asked me would I be ready for the mess that we will make and said yeah just to hear his response and said okay... then a year later he was married... lol... and told me because I didn't leave my husband andhe wanted me to leave my husband because I wanted to not because of him... or to start a new relationship... because if we didn't last he didn't want me to be upset... I know it won't work between us but I fantasize that it will and it feels so real... but its not

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Well married guys without any sense of morals would jump all over free oral also because it is still FREE!

The fact that he is cheating on his wife too, does NOT mean that he loves you.

That is true because neither one of us wants to leave or current relationships and start over... too scared and nervous to do that we both are... and then I think we are both scared that if we leave or mates and it don't work out we will lose each other

Justwantfair · Feb 18, 2009, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

True......I said that before and he said that he only married after he found out that the baby was indeed his and didn't want her to get him for child support.

I can see why you like and admire this man so much and you want to be with him, you two are very similar.

artlady · Feb 18, 2009, 08:57 AM

He is humiliating you and perhaps in doing so trying to send you a message about what he thinks of you and clearly,it isn't much.

Honor yourself and your husband and have the morality to respect your vows.

Just because you want something does not mean you can walk all over others to get it.That is the mindset of a child.

Look inside yourself and ask why you allow this type of abuse? Why not be with the man who loves you.Do you feel that unlovable? Why must you try to get what is clearly unobtainable?
Bottom line... Hes married,your married,it is morally wrong.

Jentau · Feb 18, 2009, 09:40 AM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

True......I said that before and he said that he only married after he found out that the baby was indeed his and didn't want her to get him for child support.

So who else is his wife sleeping with? You said he's only sleeping with you and her and you're only sleeping with your husband and him... obviously she's been sleeping around with someone else if he wasn't sure the baby was his... so, no diseases huh? You sure about that?

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by artlady

He is humiliating you and perhaps in doing so trying to send you a message about what he thinks of you and clearly,it isn't much.

Honor yourself and your husband and have the morality to respect your vows.

Just because you want something does not mean you can walk all over others to get it.That is the mindset of a child.

Look inside yourself and ask why you allow this type of abuse? Why not be with the man who loves you.Do you feel that unlovable? Why must you try to get what is clearly unobtainable?
Bottom line....Hes married,your married,it is morally wrong.

Yes it is morally wrong and I never wanted my marriage to take this turn... you are right I just have to pray everyday to get and keep him out of my mind until he is...

chrissymarie · Feb 18, 2009, 12:31 PM

If your just going to be giving him oral and not getting pleasured why don't you just start charging him for it?

Your married. You shouldn't care about the guy on the side or have a guy on the side. And now that it's clear the guy on the side doesn't care about you or your needs... Your basically a free prostitute.

Remember the cheater always ends up being the one hurt the most. Your probably going to lose your guy on the side and you husband if he finds out about your cheating. Then you'll be alone.

chrissymarie · Feb 18, 2009, 12:35 PM

No that I have read your other post... your husband probably will leave you soon. First the trust is gone, then the love is gone. I seriously don't even see why you 2 are still married. Are you 2 just comfortable?

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 12:37 PM

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

If your just gonna be giving him oral and not getting pleasured why dont you just start charging him for it?

Your married. You shouldn't care about the guy on the side or have a guy on the side. And now that it's clear the guy on the side doesn't care about you or your needs... Your basically a free prostitute.

Remember the cheater always ends up being the one hurt the most. Your probably going to lose your guy on the side and you husband if he finds out about your cheating. Then you'll be alone.

On one hand I want to be alone and on the other hand I can't see that... but whatever happens happen... like I told my husband I just want him happy with or without me... and I won't get hurt from this because been there done that... I will just move on like I always do...

chrissymarie · Feb 18, 2009, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

On one hand I want to be alone and on the other hand I can't see that.....but whatever happens happen.....like I told my husband I just want him happy with or without me......and I wont get hurt from this because been there done that.......I will just move on like I always do....

You are so selfish. You must really just not care about your husband. "whatever happens happen..."?? YOU CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY. You make thing happen... your not a puppet controlled by a higher being. You control your life.

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

you are so selfish. you must really just not care about your husband. "whatever happens happen..." ??? YOU CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY. You make thing happen... your not a puppet controlled by a higher being. You control your life.

How does this make me selfish... I always put others before me that's what happened... I don't like my ex being mad at me so I do it just to get it over with... and my husband I are together because we've been together for 10 years... since I was 17 and we do love each other dearly... my husband can't stand this guy because he always asked why is he the one you can't get over I don't know but I will definitely do so... and I bet I'm NOT on his mind and that's what pisses me off as well but it is what it is... I can't make him love me and I can't make my husband hate me so I just live on

slapshot_oi · Feb 18, 2009, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

How does this make me selfish.......I always put others before me thats what happened......I dont like my ex being mad at me so I do it just to get it over with......and my husband I are together because we've been together for 10 years....... since I was 17 and we do love each other dearly.....my husband can't stand this guy because he always asked why is he the one you can't get over I dont know but I will definately do so......and I bet I'm NOT on his mind and thats what pisses me off as well but it is what it is........I can't make him love me and I can't make my husband hate me so I just live on

That's f***ed up.

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

How does this make me selfish.......I always put others before me thats what happened......

Good question; I guess in your case you're not selfish, you're just dumb.

Jentau · Feb 18, 2009, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

How does this make me selfish.......I always put others before me thats what happened......I dont like my ex being mad at me so I do it just to get it over with......and my husband I are together because we've been together for 10 years....... since I was 17 and we do love each other dearly.....my husband can't stand this guy because he always asked why is he the one you can't get over I dont know but I will definately do so......and I bet I'm NOT on his mind and thats what pisses me off as well but it is what it is........I can't make him love me and I can't make my husband hate me so I just live on

When you say you "always put others before me that's what happened" are you saying that cheating on your husband is putting him first? Or you're always putting your "ex" first? I don't know if it's selfish but it sure isn't smart. Why would you care so much if your "ex" is mad at you anyway? You're just giving him head in exchange for a messed up marriage and it sounds like you like it that way.

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

That's f***ed up.

Good question; I guess in your case you're not selfish, you're just dumb.

Well I wouldn't say dumb but I would say selectively naïve... Please people don't get it twisted you are talking to someone that is a mother, wife, friend and mentor... as I would help my students without disrespect I expect the same here but I guess adults aren't to far from adolescents... so I understand... BEING A CHEATER IS WRONG YOU CAN SAY THAT 100 TIMES YES IT IS HOW TO GET OVER IT PEOPLE... CUT HIM OFF... THANK YOU I GET IT...

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by Jentau

when you say you "always put others before me that's what happened" are you saying that cheating on your husband is putting him first? Or you're always putting your "ex" first? I don't know if it's selfish but it sure isn't smart. Why would you care so much if your "ex" is mad at you anyway? You're just giving him head in exchange for a messed up marriage and it sounds like you like it that way.

Me being smart has nothing to do with the tea in china... but it was dumb and selfish and I don't know why I cared what he thought at the time I just did... and wanted to be the best person in his life... but I guess I wasn't enough

Justwantfair · Feb 18, 2009, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

Me being smart has nothing to do with the tea in china...........but it was dumb and selfish and I dont know why I cared what he thought at the time I just did............and wanted to be the best person in his life.......but I guess I wasn't enough

Now stop responding, think about some of the things that are written here. You are too busy defending yourself and getting frustrated with the feedback that you are forgetting the focus.

You have learned some things today. You are an intelligent woman, you have things going for you, but you are acting irresponsibility and have been for quite some time, you have children and you are a mentor apparently to students, you need to stop the gray behaviors and set the example. If you feel like you are getting immature responses, don't go on to respond in the same manner. It is time for some apologizing to your husband, probably to yourself and some definite soul searching.

Step out and think.

Jentau · Feb 18, 2009, 01:39 PM

I think the phrase is "the price of tea in china" :)

The question you really need to ask yourself is do you indeed want to save your marriage. Really think long and hard about it. Don't just stay married because you've known each other a long time and it would be weird not to be with him. It has to be because you truly love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him and only him.

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Now stop responding, think about some of the things that are written here. You are too busy defending yourself and getting frustrated with the feedback that you are forgetting the focus.

You have learned some things today. You are an intelligent woman, you have things going for you, but you are acting irresponsibility and have been for quite some time, you have children and you are a mentor apparently to students, you need to stop the gray behaviors and set the example. If you feel like you are getting immature responses, don't go on to respond in the same manner. It is time for some apologizing to your husband, probably to yourself and some definate soul searching.

Step out and think.

Now I can understand that... these people kept acting like I was this 16 year old high school student I am a grown woman confused like a 16 year old high school student and don't like the feeling... I do need to do some soul searching because I need to find me... I did not plan to hurt my husband but as a result of my honesty I told him and became hurt... I can't take it back it happened but I do want to put it behind me a move on with my life...