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cherriebomb · Feb 16, 2009, 03:10 PM

Hi everyone - I wanted to share my story with you and see if anyone could posisbly contribute with some insight/advise... SO here it goes...
I got married at the tender age of 18 to my one and only boyfriend. I was very much in love at the time and thought I could never possibly love anyone else. A lot of pressure was on me the moment I learned that my entire family was moving away from the US! So in love and naïve, my boyfriend and I decided to marry so that we could stay together and be happy ever after la la la...
Fast-forward 3 years later, we have undoubtedly changed rather susbtantially. He has changed for the better, not only is he more mature but also works very hard so that I don't have to and I can focus on my education. We purchased our first home and feel very proud of that because we are still very young. However, there is not a day when I wonde rin my mind if I made the right choice. I do love him very much and we do share an extensive amount of memories nad good times, but I Just don't think I feel the same anymore. I know he is madly in love with me but I don't want to continue a relationship if I know I am not happy. Besides, I think he deserves better than someone who fakes love. Our interests have changed over the years, we do not share any friendships or have much in common... I met someone else who happens to be 13 years my senior and I like a lot. We have a lot in common and I am dying to get together and give that a shot... I am very happy when I talk to this person and I look forward to hearing from him everyday, it truly makes my day.
What do I do?

chuff · Feb 16, 2009, 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by cherriebomb

What do I do?

You remember the oath you took. It is not your husband's fault you started thinking about other guys. I think you have an infatuation with someone, not true love and not real feelings, just curiosity because the marriage is over the honeymoon period. The truth is you are right, you husband deserves better then this. But he sure didn't ask for it. He committed to you, and by your own accounts he's doing a damn good job of it. When I read these other posts from girls who get used and abused I'll remember you, ready to drop a guy who took an oath and followed through, only so you could think about cheating on him. It's time to quick talking to the guy who isn't any good for you, and start talking to the guy who is committed to you.

ChihuahuaMomma · Feb 16, 2009, 03:27 PM

I agree with Chuff. Have the two of you thought of a romantic weekend away to rekindle some intimacy?

Justwantfair · Feb 16, 2009, 03:29 PM

Marriage isn't about a happily ever after, marriage is about work and devotion. You work everyday to keep your relationship alive. You have a man that is devoted to you, that is working his tail off to make a life for your future.

I can't make you stay in a marriage, I can recommend that you recommit yourself to your husband. I can play out the next year for you, should you follow your "grass is greenier" theory. You leave your husband, your new man and you are great for 3 - 4 months. Then the chemistry, devotion dies and you want your husband back, at this point your husband is completely broken at the fact that you left him to go running into someone else's arms.

Whether with your husband or this new "GREAT" person you have to work for your relationships, it's everyday. You will have lulls, you will find that your relationship becomes the same old, same old, but then you spruce it up, you don't go hop on the next man that might be fresh and new.