[tonysgrlaz]

My brother must have narcissitic personality disorder. Everything he says has $$$$ signs on it, his is the best, no one else can compare in his imaginary world of wealth and wisdom. His stories are so far fetched, their ridiculous. He's 52 yrs. Old and has been this way his whole life. Very hard to deal with a person like this. There is no reasoning or compromise at all. Does anyone else have a family member with this disorder? How do you tolerate them? We wrote him a letter explaining how we all feel and he refuses to believe what we sy is the truth. How do you deal with someone with this problem? It's like talking to yourself because they refuse to hear anything you say. Last thought... I guess there's no cure, or is there help out there?

[Jake2008]

He sounds very much like someone I know. Generally, the description you provided is associated with a narcissistic personality disorder.

SYMPTOMS
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Psych Central: Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms


As it is a disorder, there is specific treatment available, but they have to be willing to go, which he probably isn't (like the one I know). Nothing seems to get through. Extremely frustrating! They don't think they have a problem.

Learning how to cope with a family member with this disorder requires some defensive moves, and strategies to learn protective skills. It is something worth thinking about doing, to make life easier around this person.

Dealing with a Narcissistic Family Member - Mental Health - Families.com

Best of luck to you.

[tonysgrlaz]

Thank you for your answer... Every word was true. The symptom list should have my brother's face next to it in all the medical books. He insists it us and not him with the problem. He refuses to own up to it so we'd rather just let him go his own path. Thanks again for the info.

[Jake2008]

You're very welcome, glad I could help.

They are very frustrating people. Really the only thing you can do is learn to live with it when he is around, and let it go when he leaves. I've learned to do that over the years myself, in one ear, out the other.

Good luck.

[tonysgrlaz]

Thank you again... some times though it's very difficult to let it go.  Especially when he calls us all (excuse my language) fu---ng idiots. He said me and all my sisters are nuts and that's why he dissaccociates himself from us.  He says we hinder him. Very bizarre behavior. Anyway, thanks again!:

[Choux]

Is there some reason you are forced to associate with him very often?

At his (and your)advanced age, time to tune him out and just go about your business. :)

[tonysgrlaz]

Well he is my brother and we always were a close knit family.. everyone except for him. He never fit in or associated with any of his sisters very well. He was always too good for us and never had anything in common with us "normal" people. I'm 41, not that advanced! I mean I'm not elderly. I still have a lot of years to make lasting memories with the family and kids. He just won't be included in that.

[Jake2008]

Try not to be discouraged, although it is extremely difficult with a personality like that to deal with.

Especially when the person is a family member.

There are some things you can do to in coping with this situation. Out of curiosity I googled 'how to deal with a narcissistic person', and learned a few things through the 109,000 hits!

Nobody is without some self-control, even the narcissistic one.

Good luck.