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cynndy · Feb 12, 2009, 12:12 AM

Well I met a guy a month or so ago. He's a great guy but had to move out of town. He wants me and my son to move with him until he has to go to iraq. Then we will come back to a whole lot of problems. My mom doesn't like us talking because my sister and him had a one night stand. Every time we talk I have to do it while they are not around. We really like each other and he wants to take care of us. He tells me that before he leaves he will find me a place to live he will leave me his truck so I can get around and find a job while he's gone. Should I go with him or should I stay? Should I risk my happiness over my family any advice is appreciated:confused:

Would it be wrong for me just to get up and go and let them know after I leave?

Romefalls19 · Feb 12, 2009, 06:23 AM

Think of the child first, moving in with a guy you barely know and bringing your kid around him to grow attached only for him to leave again? What's to say this will work out as the speed you're moving is dangerous. Too much too fast, crash and burn.

artlady · Feb 12, 2009, 07:07 AM

He has promised you an awful lot in a short period.What happens down the road when he doesn't want to *take care of you* anymore? You are not near family anymore and your safety net is gone.

I am suspect of anyone who wants to *take care * of someone,especially so early in a relationship.What is his motivation?

You are putting yourself and your son in a situation that sounds very suspicious.

I would rethink this but if you decide to go I would certainly tell your family.I am quite sure you would not like it if one of them up and disappeared.

You need to ask yourself* How much do I really know about this guy*? He could be a serial killer for all you know.

Be careful and use your better judgment.We have instincts about things and you must have some reservations or you wouldn't be here. Listen to that inner voice that is telling you something is just not right here.

DSMom · Feb 12, 2009, 07:23 AM

I think that you need to be careful here. I am not saying that whhat he is telling you is not genuine, but a month is an awfully quick time to make such a move away from family.
I served in the military and maybe can shed some light as to what may or may not be going through his mind. When you are being sent to Iraq, there are a lot of things that go through your head, it is a scary thing on many levels. He may be feeling like he needs something positive in his life that he can hang on to before he leaves. Things there are totally out of his control and having people he cares about around him before he leaves will give him a feeling of love and support and belonging that he may need. (before he is sent on a scary & dangerous tour that he has no idea what is going to happen)
As far as getting up and leaving without telling your family. I would say that if this is something you decide to do, you HAVE to tell them. I have been away from my family for 10 years. We are all very close. It is the hardest thing to face everyday (even after 10 years). Family is SO important. Jeopardizing the relationship with your family over someone you have known for a month or so really is not worth it. After only a month, you really cannot make a huge decision about moving away from family for a relationship that is so young... especially with your son involved. You have to put your child's needs and what's best for him first. Taking him into unfamiliar surroundings (for you both) where there is no support network (other than someone you have only known for about a month or so who will be leaving for a tour to Iraq) is not a good situation. He needs stability. Who will watch him while you look for work, who will watch him while you do work?
Another thing to keep in mind is in a relationship with someone in the military... is that his duties to serve come before everything. While he may be loyal to you and your son, when they tell him to go, he has to go, when they tell him he has to stay, he has to stay... it can't be *well I have my girlfriend and her son at home and we were supposed to do ______* that doesn't matter, duty first, everything else afterwards.

Ber Rabbit · Feb 12, 2009, 07:26 AM

You've known him a month, WAY too little time to expose your child to living with him. You're a mom now and the well-being of your child comes before EVERYTHING else. This whole situation sounds suspicious, don't make the move.
Ber

talaniman · Feb 12, 2009, 07:56 AM

Well I met a guy a month or so ago

Way to soon to expose your child to this guy. He is a stranger and the only thing you really know is he screwed your sister. Be a pen pal while he is away, but don't get carried away with him at all.

Listen to your family on this one.