[Romefalls19]

Ok, I was cleaning out my room last night and found the note my ex wrote me the day we broke up. Let me paint the whole picture(sum up the break up) for you new comers. We were together 2 1/2 years, had ups and downs like any couple. The final fight that brought about the break up started on a trip to New York City, we had to take a train there, well she invited a friend and her parents, her friend was also extremely close with her parents. When we got on the train, I was thinking her friend, my ex and I would share a seat and her parents would share a seat. Well, no, they all sat together and left me alone, made me upset but no big deal. We get to New York, once again I am left behind(now I'm getting a little angry) why invite me if you are just going to ignore me? They went into every store it seemed, I wanted to go to one store, the NHL store(huge hockey fan) but I was given grief about it and only able to go in for 15 minutes. We go to Tiffany's(here's where it set everything off) She is looking at rings for her parents to buy her, she goes to try one on. For her thumb, keep in mind, the guy takes the ring I bought her off her ring finger and says "this one looks a lot better than that old thing" That really ticked me off. I didn't speak the whole time back, she didn't think anything was wrong. So we talked(she yelled) and said she is done. I did the typical phone terrorist stuff for the first night, and then wrote me this letter.

Rome,

I just needed to tell you how I feel in this letter and how much you do truly mean to me. I have spent the last two years of my life with the person I hoped and thought would be my soul mate. I don't know where we went wrong. Jealousy took over our relationship and not having trust barely gave us a relationship. You were an amazing boyfriend and the love of my life. I gave you a part of me that I can never get back and would never want back because I love you so much. I need to do this for myself. I'm tired of feeling this way about everything. I do hope you find someone that will treat you wonderfully in your future because you truly are a great person. You just have something I hope you work out for someone else. I have tried again and again to help you out with them, but you wouldn't let me or listen. I don't know why. You kept pushing it aside, like I wouldn't ever leave you if things didn't change. We both made mistakes in this relationship, but I never did anything to control you or tell you what to do. I wanted you to go out with your friends and everything. Like just some of the things you would say to me really hurt. And I'm sure I have said some mean things to you in the past and I'm so sorry and I'm so sorry I'm hurting you right now. Im hurting myself, but when this is done I think it will be for the best in the end. You just have to let me go and be alone on my own and my friends and family and ill try the same for you. We need to be apart from each other. You will find that special someone some day. You are my world, you really are which makes this ten times harder but I need to be strong and do this for myself. I have given too many chances for change and gave a million options in the past. I have given you all of my love and I always will. You were my first everything and I have no regrets about it. I wouldn't have chosen any other person to be with. I wish things worked out better in our past so this wouldn't have happened. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Im not trying to make you unhappy by doing this, I'm just trying to make the right decision. You will always be apart of my heart and I'm not just saying that to you. This whole letter is real and my feelings of love toward you are real too. I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart and I always will love you no matter what.

Love always,
The ex

She was out that week with another guy who "I had nothing to worry about" wearing low cut tops and flirting with other guys while we were together. She didn't want me out with certain friends, didn't want me going to bars since she couldn't go.

[Justwantfair]

Hey Rome,

Did I miss the question? Correct me if I am wrong, aren't you with someone new and happier now? Did I miss something?

[Romefalls19]

Yea I am, I just was cleaning out my closet last night and found this letter ha ha. So I thought I would post exactly what my ex wrote to me, sort of a way to show the new comers that contact with you ex isn't always a good thing.

Since this forum and my friends on here know my whole story, I felt adding this letter would show them even more how she blamed everything onto me.

[kctiger]

Of course she blamed everything on you... and now look who is happy... hmm... weird huh?

[Justwantfair]

Just thought I would check, I was pretty sure you had happily moved on although I know the break up was difficult (as they always are).

Did you decide to keep the letter? I sometimes go through the letters I wrote (never delivered) and the letters I receive to/from exes. It never surprises me the feelings you go through again but that you can read and remember how clouded your judgement was at the time of the letter.

[SAB123]

Hey Rome, May I ask the reason for break up. And pretty s**ty she out flirting with other guys while you where together toward end of relationship. And like you said contactr with ex's to the new comers is not a good thing. I found out about 1 1/2 years later my ex fiancé was seeing another dude 4 months before she broke up with me again. I'm just glad I found out when I was healed, that would have pissed me off a that time... LOL

[Romefalls19]

Yea, now when I read it I laugh at it because I did find someone better, I did figure out what was wrong ans half of my jealousy came from actions she was demonstrating to other guys. She always wanted me to hang out with her friends, but when my best friend invited us to come hang out at his fiancé and his house.

When I first got the letter I used it as motivation for the gym to be honest. It angered me heavily, but now I can't get angry because I am moved on and the letter helped me move on as it showed exactly how selfish she truly was.

[Romefalls19]

The reason she claimed for the break up was that I was "too jealous and possessive" which I went to counseling for, and the therapist said I was slightly jealous and possessive but nothing that was too bad. So I feel she needed a crutch to end it so she gave me that line so she could be with the other guy.

[kctiger]

I am happy for you Rome. In a non Bro-Mance sort of way...

[SAB123]

Sounds like your much happier now. That's awsome.

[Romefalls19]

The funny thing now is, she is the one who was contacting me(after about 5 1/2 months of NC) wanting to know if our relationship could be healed and repaired. She still loved me, thought about me constantly, but I had already healed(from most of the help I received on this forum) and moved on to a terrific woman. So I told her that it was over, every now and then she crosses the line of friends and asks uncalled for questions but mostly short conversations.

[Justwantfair]

Rome, you are a wonderful guy and a great catch and it was Definitely her loss and you end up with the last laugh about the whole thing.

It is sad how many people work to change themselves or put up with the loss of self to stay in unhealthy relationships. You took the break, walked away and you are in a much better place now. Sometimes I think the failed relationship repertoire keeps us working with the wrong people so that we don't feel like we failed again. It's not you it's me syndrome.

[jmw0713]

That letter would be some good kindling for a fire at somepoint...

[kctiger]

Would also be some decent toilet paper...

[jmw0713]

LOL! That will work too! Actually, it may be a little too rough. Ouch... almost sandpaper like!

[Romefalls19]

Haha yea it would!

[stanmatt]

Just a clarification, did she get involved in another relationship before she tried to get back with you?