[Cherrymorphine]

All right, I'm having issues with this and just need insight on what to do.

I'll sum it up. About 8 months ago, I had a crush on this guy that I had met mutually through a friend. We became best friends shortly after. Occasionally he would visit me at my house. We would fool around (kissing, cuddling), but nothing more than that. He visited me a total of 4x (one of these days he had left me during the night for the ex). During those four times, he would be single, but soon after get back with his first love, who broke his heart consecutively. Then he would run back to me. She has major issues, and repeatedly destroys him so their relationship never lasts. Then he would come cry to me about it, and I would console him.

This past Christmas, about a week before, he had finally asked me out after severing all contact with her because she was just nothing but trouble and heartbreak. We were together for about a month and a half before he broke up with me and 2 days later, gets back with her AGAIN.

I'm at a loss. He was my first love, and I gave him the world. The breakup caused me to become physically sick, and I would lay in bed days crying. I know we had some issues, but nothing scarring. We are compatible. I don't understand what to do, and it's tearing me apart. I know she is bad for him, and it upsets me that he will never learn. Are they simply DESTINED to be dysfunctional with each other and marry? I was going to bring him with me to Europe as a surprise this year... I want him back more than anything in the world, and I want him to see that I'm the cure for him, not her.

Is she still the same? She knows me, and was threatened. Has this experience possibly changed her outlook and she will never let him go again? :mad: I heard she is seeking counseling, but honestly, the negative associations he has for her have to take place somewhere. She has hurt him at least 7x, in major ways.

What the hell do I do? Do I text him, begging him back? I cannot move on, because he's the only person I want to build my future with, but the damn ex keeps getting in the way. Help.

[liz28]

Don't call hi begging him to be with you. Actually since he was never over his ex he would've never been able to completely commit hisself to you. That's why he kept running back to her.

Never get involve with someone that isn't over their ex. Even though the two of you had things in common his heart wouldn't in it so now you move on and get over him and end this cycle with him running back and forth between you and her.

I think you make too much effort in trying to make this relationship work in the short time you two were together.

Don't call, text, or email him. Close this chapter of you life because at this time he can't give you what you need because he is emotionally tied to someone else and life is too short to cry over spilled milk. Don't shed another tear for this guy. Pull yourself together. Go hang out with friends or go pamper yourself and when thoughts of him enter your mind think of something else. No more focusing on him and his ex, focus on yourself and with time your going reflect back on him and see how he so wasn't worth your time.

[asking]

You are not compatible. He has used you shamelessly and blames his other girlfriend. This is not a good man. He will make you as unhappy has his other girlfriend is. She is not an ex; he just has two girlfriends. It's no wonder she's unhappy and needs counseling. You should consider it too to help you get over him.

And, beyond that, do as Liz advises. Good advice!

[artlady]

I agree with Liz28,he was never really yours to begin with.
Some people thrive on drama and toxic relationships.
You being there to ease his burdens when she hurt him was just him taking advantage of your feelings.
You must move on if you are ever to have any peace.
This man is already taken and always has been.
Harsh but true,you need to move on and who knows the possibilities that will be open to you in Europe!