[s4g66]

Right so Im a shy guy. I'm 19, I've never been in a relationship, never kissed a girl,my shyness always gets in the way. I've got a small group of friends I've had to work hard to build and I'm working on becoming more extrovert but its taking time.

Well here's the story. I met this girl when I was 17, I'd just moved to university and saw her at a party. I couldn't bring myself to speak to her then but later on I met her and her friend ramndomly and managed to force myself to speak to them. I then began speaking to her on the bus to university etc. and we became good friends, though it took 3 months for us to get each others names lol.

Things were going well until I told my friend I liked her. He then told other friends, one of which knew her and began to screw everything up to the point where the she was really awkward and would barely speak to me because so many people were meddling.

I managed to sort it out eventually, It took me a while but I got things kind of back to normal. Though I 'd given up on asking her out etc. as I didn't want to risk our friendship.

We've been out a few times since, one time of which she started dancing with me but I was so nervous I could barely move :(. I don't think she was very impressed and told a friend she just wanted to be friends. I was cool with this for a while I guess. Though she started texting me more for a while and kept asking whether I had a g/f which according to friends is a sign she's interested but I took it as general conversation.

I've grown up a bit since then. I'm more mature and bit more confident, though I'm still pretty shy I've learned top control my shyness a bit better.

She's now invited me with her and her friends again and I need advice. How can I find out if she likes me or subtly show I'm still interested in her without risking what we already have? Or should I just give up? :(

[chrissymarie]

If she's texting and inviting you places... she likes you.

[s4g66]

Actually I usually end up texting her, she texts me from time to time though. Weird thing is she invites me out on nights out all the time but then cancels, I invited her out and she couldn't make it. She was talking about us getting a night out going and then invited me out.

[chrissymarie]

Hmmm... well now I understand the situation a little more. She using you as a back up plan for the weekend just in case some other plans don't follow through. That's why she's always canceling.

The best thing for you to do is show a little more interest in her and force yourself to flirt... once you start flirting you can whether she likes you or not by her responses.

Just don't waste your time though. If she continues to cancel, don't pursue her.

[s4g66]

Ok so she cancelled again :(. Says there's too manly of her friends not going out. So what do you think I should do? I seem to get the feeling she's not interested in the slightest. Meh sucks to be me :(.

[kctiger]

Leave her alone... let her chase you if she wants you. I know you like her, but believe me, there are many more, and you have better things to do with your time than chase a girl who isn't really acting interested

[cadillac59]

I agree with the people here who said not to pursue her. You're wasting too much time and energy on someone who's not responding properly to be worthy of your interest. There are a lot of fish in the sea, find someone else.

I use to listen to a radio talk show psychologist in the 80's who talked about shyness once in a while. Most shyness is the result of low self-esteem, which is often due simply to inexperience. She use to say you build self-confidence by doing things that make you feel good about yourself and make others feel good about you too. Self-improvement of any kind is an example.

Be courageous. Pursue someone who will respond and the rest will follow.

[beach_boys]

Ask her face to face if she like you. Maintain 100% eye contact and you will know.

[s4g66]

Thanks for the advice people. I think I'll take your advice and just try and stay friends :)