[szavelo68]

About a year ago, I wrote a letter to the district judge signing over my parental right to my ex husband. I haven't seen let alone spoken with our two minor children in over a year. They don't call me mom, they call his girlfriend mom, and to them I am known as Stephanie. My family is very annoyed by that.

How do I go forward with withdrawing my child support payments when I don't have contact with them and they don't even know me, and if they speak about me to their father they get grounded.

I am at a loss here. I have one child with my soon to be husband and another on the way. With all this aggrevation and my ex stalking me and my family I just can't take much more of this.

Please help!! :confused:

[cjonline]

You can't.

Writing a letter to a judge saying that you don't want to be in your child's live doesn't make it fact. My question is did you get something back from the judge confirming or denying the request? My guess is that you didn't hear anything one way or the other.

Even if you did give away the right to make choices in your child's life doesn't mean that you don't have to pay support. Unless the child was adopted then you are still liable for child support. Basically all you did was give your ex full custody and are not taking visitation but you can't just choose to relinquish your rights as a parent. It's something that only a judge can do. But either way you're still ordered to pay support unless the child was adopted.

[stevetcg]

Were you asked to sign over your rights by a lawyer so that the father's wife can adopt them?

Were you denied visitation by the court when support was set up?

More details are needed here.

[ScottGem]

No court is going to grant a termination of parental rights (TPR) to allow that parent to get out of paying child support. And writing a letter is definitely not going to do the job.

So your rights probably remain in effect, you just haven't exercised them.

You can try going to court for a modification of your support order if you can show a change in circumstances.

[szavelo68]

~*CJonline*~

When I wrote that letter I didn't get a response back from anyone but my exhusband. He told me that the 3 people I sent it to took it as a joke. The thing that bothers me is that he has my children call someone else mom and call me Stephanie and that is not right. And the only reason why I wrote the letter was because he was harrassing me and stalking me 24/7 and the stress I could not bare anymore.



~*Stevetcg*~

No I was not asked to sign over my rights as a parent, it just got to be too much, I live in PA and he took my 2 children to Upstate ny away from me.

I was not denied visitation rights, from anyone. But Greene County Court house did have court meeting without me being present which I did not respect and the fact I was unable to find out what the outcome was, I felt that it was very seeky on both parts.

Basically this is what happened...

I moved to PA from Long Island NY with my husband and 2 children. I wanted a divorce cause of him cheating on me constately and always going on long trips to ny meanwhile he collect SSI disability. I divorce him and when I was suppose to have my children move in with me he basically took them to NY. Well Lehigh County stated I would have full custody I lost my job 2 days prior to my hearing due to the fact of my ex husband calling me 24 times in one day at work, and my job couldn't take the harassment anymore and let me go. So I lost that battle.

He is not a good father all he cares for is himself. For this past xmas he got a tattoo of the kids on his leg and told them that is their gift from Santa Claus... So you tell me what kind of father does that. The gifts I sent up to them he returned to the stores for cash value.

The kids call his EX girl friend mommy and call me stephanie cause that is what the father wants them to do. They are not allowed to call me mommy. Cause if they do they will be in trouble.

My family has to pay 80.00 to see them. He takes me to court once a month for more money which he keeps on being denied..

And now he tries to hack into my email accounts on a daily basis. So you tell me do you think he is a good father??

~*ScottGem*~

I am working on getting a court hearing in session but greene county is very hard to get in touch with.

[JudyKayTee]

Now I'm confused - you tried to sign away your parental rights to a person you acknowledge is a bad father and your interest is stopping child support? You want to sign off as their mother because they call the girlfriend Mom and they call you by your first name? And he's moved so far away that there is no possible way you can see your kids? When did all of this happen?

My family is annoyed by a lot of things a lot of the time - I'm still not signing custody at all and particularly not to someone I acknowledge is a bad father.

Very, very hard not to judge you here (the words "He's taking my kids over my dead body" come to mind) - maybe this is outside the legal realm right now and should be posted on a discussion board.

[szavelo68]

He didn't start to show he was a bad father until I wrote that letter signing over my rights which is not even valid since I was unable to do so.

In the past year he has shown my family he is only out there for money and for himself. While we were married he was a good father, but something screwd him up...

[ScottGem]

Ok, the bottomline here is that he has apparently violated a court order awarding custody to you ("Well Lehigh County stated I would have full custody"). What you need to be doing is getting the court to enforce that order. Get as copy of the order and go to where they live in NY. Show the order to the police there and ask them to accompany you to retrieve your children. You might get the Lehigh County Family Court to contact the Greene County equivalent first.

As Judy said, you fight for the kids.

Other things you can do is sue him for causing you to lose your job. Go back to the Family Court and get a child support order.

There are options open to you, but you need to act.