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    chelsea86's Avatar
    chelsea86 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 4, 2009, 05:19 AM
    I wish I knew what I wanted
    OK so I've been in my relationship for the past 5 1/2 years. Id say the first 2 1/2 years seemed perfect to me although I was only 17 when we met and weren't looking for a relationship at that point, here I am all this time later.

    We live together, and id say for the past two years I've been questioning if its right, like I've had that doubt in the back of my mind and I don't know why :(

    He loves me to bits I know that, and I hate myself for feeling this way, but I just can't snap out of it.

    There has been this guy as wel back from school, who I've always liked and I feel I have so much more in common with him. I've been out on the town quite often lately and seen him out a few times, and we have such a laugh together. I can't go out to town with my boyfriend as he makes me feel claustrophobic (we have spoke about this on many occasions and he said he'l try to back off bit, but he can't help it). My boyfriends mates are all older than me, and there the group of friends I've kind of fallen into as I've never had my own group, I'm friends with everyone, and not part of a group. His friends all say they've been there and done that, and now I feel that I'm missing out. I feel that in time I'm going to regret not living my young life to the full and hold that against my boyfriend :( like I feel he's taken it away from me, he's five years older than me.

    Back to the other guy, his friends are all my age, and he has said he likes me and has done for ages and would love to be in a relationship with me. I've not physically cheated on my boyfriend, I couldn do that to him, but I have emotionally as I wouldn't be thinking this other wise. I know they say the grass isn't greener on the other side, but my cousin was in exactly the same position as me, with her boyfriend for 4 years, met someone else, started having so much fun with him, and had a lot more in common with each other. She left her boyfriend for this guy and says she has never looked back. I wouldn't break up with my boyfriend and jump straight in to another relationship because I feel I need time to myself, I don't feel I've had the chance to be young yet. What I really wish for is that I met my boyfriend one or two years later then maybe I wouldn't be feeling like this, that I'm missing out.

    I think if we weren't living together I would have broke it off by now. But then think maybe a break is what we need, give me time to miss him? Realise that he is the one? But then we don't see each other every night, and I haven't missed him for a long time, nor have I said I love him without questioning it in my mind. Things were so easy at the beginning for us because I really was head over heels for him.

    Any advice, or anyone who has been in a similar situation would be most appreciated, because right now I don't know whether I'm coming or going. And its not fair on my boyfriend neither, I really want to be there for him like he is for me, but I just isn't there. Sometimes I wish I could see in to the future, or go backwards knowing what I know now, how differently things could have turned out,
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    Feb 4, 2009, 11:59 AM
    If you feel this way I would break it off with him or like you said resent him later down the road. I know if I where in his shoes I would be upset if you do this but it's your life and YOU must come first. And if you decide to take a break I wouldn't rush into a new relationship to fast neither or string the man you are with along neither. Your still young enjoy life.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #3

    Feb 4, 2009, 12:30 PM

    Quote Originally Posted by chelsea86
    i feel that in time im goin to regret not living my young life to the full and hold that against my boyfriend like i feel hes taken it away from me, hes five years older than me.
    Totally irresponsible; don't even think of laying blame on your boyfriend for taking away your youth. You have two feet, you could've walked out whenever you felt you had to, but you chose not to.

    So let this be a wake up call; you're posting here 'cause your upset with your relationship and you want out... so get out!
    XM8's Avatar
    XM8 Posts: 213, Reputation: 14
    Full Member
     
    #4

    Feb 4, 2009, 02:02 PM

    Could the answer be more obvious? Get out of that relationship because if you don't one day you are going to be boiling with sorrow and regret, and eat yourself for having stayed in it.

    You want to break it off, and you're here looking for approval. If that's what you think is right, then do it. No one's holding you back.

    But do consider the fact that this other guy from high school might not be what you think he is. Like you said yourself "the grass always looks greener on the other side" - that wisdom is no crap - it means something, so put a lot of thought into what you're going to do.

    Oh and I have to agree with slapshot_oi , don't lay a single ounce of blame on your boyfriend. He loved you, and still does - and that's "wasting your youth" ? Come on, you know better than that.

    Well then, now it's time for you to call the shots.

    -Xm8
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 4, 2009, 02:49 PM

    Whenever there is doubt about your feelings for someone, deal with the priorities first, as when your single, you owe no loyalty to anyone, but yourself.

    Before you cheat, take care of home first. Go, or stay.

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