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mellowyellow29 · Jan 30, 2009, 08:24 AM

I've been dating a guy for about three months (I'm a guy too) and everything's fine for the most part. Now he's started saying he loves me, and as much as I love BEING with him, and as much as I really, really like him... I don't think I love him. Actually, I know I don't.
What should I do? Should I tell him I don't love him but want to stay with him (which I do)? How do I respond when we're on the phone and he says, "I love you" ?

gobe · Jan 30, 2009, 09:31 AM

Be honest

chrissymarie · Jan 30, 2009, 02:08 PM

Tell him you love him too, nothing is going to change. You do love him don't you? You love him just like you love your friends. If saying I love you is no biggie to him then it shouldn't be a biggie to you.

If you tell him you don't love him it going to translate as " I don't like you that much..." you don't want him thinking that do you?

kctiger · Jan 30, 2009, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

Tell him you love him too, nothing is going to change. You do love him don't you? you love him just like you love your friends. if saying I love you is no biggie to him then it shouldn't be a biggie to you.

if you tell him you dont love him it going to translate as " I don't like you that much..." you dont want him thinking that do you?

Wrong. You don't just throw the words, "I love you" around just to make someone more comfortable. Just sit down and talk to him about how you feel. He is a grown man, and will understand. Don't just say it because you are afraid to tackle this issue. The bottom line in any healthy relationship is being able to communicate. If you don't feel like you "love" him, then don't tell him that. He isn't your friend, so saying, "I love you" to him isn't the same as it would be coming from a friend... That is just horrific advice.

Talk to him, as this really isn't a big issue unless you make it one.

chrissymarie · Jan 30, 2009, 02:26 PM

I've ran into this situation many many times. Every situation I have just said I love you too back... and in the future when me and the guys broke up and they said " I thought you loved me..." I've just said "I did. I loved you like I love my friends and I loved being around you, and I loved your company and your personality... but now I just dont love that stuff anymore."

You won't have any problems if you say you love him. Nothing will change. You might even grow to really really love him.

But if you 2 have only been together for 3 months there is no way he truly loves you yet like a man love is wife or his husband in your case. I think he just loves a lot of stuff about you. If you love a lot of stuff about him you could say you love him too.

N0help4u · Jan 30, 2009, 07:03 PM

I would not tell him you love him because it leads him on and gives him false hope. You need to be honest with him. If you like him and want to be friends and hang with him tell him that but also tell him that the love thing is too much for you to deal with at this point. If you really don't see yourself falling in love with him maybe you should just tell him you want friendship and NOTHING more.
But telling him you love him can cause him emotional hurts or even feeling you lied and deceived him. Tell him to cool it with the I love you's and get to know each other better first.