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    sarah316's Avatar
    sarah316 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 29, 2009, 07:49 AM
    Contacting sister
    Hi I am sarah I am 16 my sister was adopted when she was 3 .
    I have looked for her on Facebook and found her ihave added her to my Facebook but have yet to chat to her ,my concern is that I think she is being picked on at shool and think that she needs a friend or a sister I am really worried about her is it against the law for me to contact her and tell her that I am her sister and that she has 2 other sistrs and a brother
    I thinkthat she knews she is adopted and really feel that she will welcome the news she only lives 5-10 miles way from me I would apreciate if anyone knows if it is against the law for me to get in contact with her

    Thank you for any help
    sarah316's Avatar
    sarah316 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jan 29, 2009, 08:17 AM

    I forgot to mention my sister is now 15
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #3

    Jan 29, 2009, 09:04 AM

    Honey--I don't think it's against the law, but it may NOT be what she needs right now.

    If she does NOT know that she's adopted, then it's going to cause a LOT more problems for her than someone picking on her at school.

    Is there an adult you can tell about her situation? A school counselor, your parents, a clergyperson? If you are getting this information from her postings on Facebook, then someone needs to know about it.

    Wait until SHE is 18 before trying to contact her. At least then she will be a legal adult and can use the information how she'd like--and it won't be interfering with her relationship with her parents as much as it would now.

    Also--when and if you DO try to contact her as an adult, do it through a third party person. That gives her the time to contemplate your message and decide FOR HERSELF if she wants to meet.

    Hon--are you SURE this is your sister? What if you are wrong? Have you talked to your parents about this?
    sarah316's Avatar
    sarah316 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 29, 2009, 01:27 PM
    Hi thanks for you help I have spoken to my mum about it and showed her there is no doubt she is my sister as she hasn't moved from where she was adopted to.my mum and all our family have never stopped loving or thinking about her. And mum says that its against the law for her to contact her but not sure if its same for me I just think she is going through hard time right now and thougt I could help I don't want to make anything worse for her but she may want to know me if she knows she is adopted her adoptive parents said that she would always know hat she was adopted through her upbringin I'm just really stuck on what to do as I really want to speak to her as a sister or a friend

    Thanks for your help
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Jan 29, 2009, 01:50 PM

    The issue is that she is a minor, ( as you are)
    And if she does not know she was adopted, it can cause all type of issues.

    I remember ( as adults) I contacted my 1/2 brother, he did not even know he had a older brother, he though he was the oldest.

    I think you need to contact her mother and/or dad and ask them if you can contact her.

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