[valinors_sorrow]

Here is a dating/relationship checklist but please feel free to give your opinion to this topic too!

In order to date confidently, its important to be ready for the possibility of a relationship, not desperate for one, just ready.. . As in available. Here is a list of things that interfere with a person's ability to be available. When you encounter these, please think long and hard about whether they should be considered “date material.” Some items on the list are so subtle that its important to date someone long enough to have a reasonable idea that these are not occurring before you either give your heart, engage in sex or take it to that exclusive level, whichever comes first. This is partly why so many people advocate going sloooooow! And it should go without saying, this list goes for you as well as your prospective date too.

1. Being fresh out of a previous relationship - too soon means less than a year, anything sooner needs some pretty good explaining.
---If you encounter this person, tell them to look you up later and mean it or prepare to be a rebound relationship.

2. Being out of a relationship for some time but still having major ongoing issues about it or ending it so badly it still feels not ended. Recently getting someone pregnant or getting pregnant counts here as that is a major involvement.
---If you encounter this person, tell them to settle their business first and then call since there won't be enough room in this until then.

3. Not being grown up enough on the inside - grown up means you have a life, you know yourself and know something about what you want and have a plan for it.
---If you encounter this person, simply kiss them on the forehead and quietly go. Its not wise to date children.

4. Any major inability to manage oneself - this can mean any huge unresolved issue like reckless spending, anger management problems, untreated mental illness such as depression, cheating on partners or any other condition that would cause you to be tempted to take them home to “fix” them or to think of yourself as magically exempt from sharing in these problems, i.e. “that's not going to happen to me!”
---If you encounter this person, give them encouragement to seek help, kiss them on the forehead and tell them to let you know how it goes when and only when they sought help. You can re-evaluate them as dating material later.

5. Any form of active addiction.
---If you encounter this person, run.

6. Being desperate and lying about stuff - this can be evident by not getting to meet other friends or family, stuff just not adding up or a "too good to be true" sense.
---If you encounter this person, run faster.