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    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
    Full Member
     
    #1

    Aug 5, 2006, 02:58 AM
    Learned something VERY important tonight...
    Im back... for now, but I learned something that I thought was pretty cool tonight... so I thought I would share. Driving home tonight I was albe to listen to a band that I thought I would NEVER be able to listen to again and ENJOY because of my EX... and I LOVED them again for the 1st time! It was my birthday today, and I had a REALLY fun time! I went out with my friends, and the girl that I have been crushing on showed up with one of her friends (the one that blew me off.. Cali girl). This was the first time I have seen her since the whole "message BS" and I didn't really care! The coolsets thing was seeing HER as the one that was F'ed up over the whole sisuation, and me realizing everything is totally cool! She came out to see ME on MY birthday... and though I was happy to see her and TOLD her that... I still kind of brushed her off... and needless to say... she called me a TON after I left... I couldn't believe it! Now... Im not saying that I am going to go back into the same situation that I was in with this girl before, but I realized that it is sooooooo much easier NOT to try that TO try with women... and I guess it never "clicked" until now! I guess I never really got the "less is more" thing, but I totally get it now! It doesn't mean be a jerk... and it doesn't mean avoid... it just means, be a challenge to get at. I told this girl NOT to wear a certain perfume tonight because it drives me CRAZY... and she did... but I said nothing about it, and she called me asking me if I noticed! BAH! I never got it until now, and I don't think its something it is something that can be taught! I don't know, I guess its kind of hard to explain how to do this without making it totally obvious that your doing it... but I guess its more of a "state of mind". It's a totally different thing to "act" like you are being a challenge than to "know" how to be a challenge, and I guess that comes with not placing so much importance on "getting the girl", like they can almost smell it! As much as I thought I was being unavailable... she almost knew I was gunning for her! Now that I am over the BS, she can't leave me alone! Sooooooooo much different, and I guess I never got that part of it. I guess I learned that liking someone is OK, but don't make them a priority in life because sh#t... there not... they are just someone you LIKE, and that doenst mean you can't LIKE more than one person at a time! Ive been seeing another girl since the last, and now that I don't place as much importance on one or the other, it really helps me keep my head clear or the "relationship" factor with either girl, and just have fun with them! The thing that never hit me until tonight is how my EX came running back pretty much as soon as I STOPPED trying to "win her over"... and that's what's happening with girl#2 now! I left her Completely alone for about 3 days, and she started calling again. Now, I just let her do the contacting... so far... iI am starting to see how I thought... and its NOT to attractive... Just thought I would share a good thing that has hit me in the past week! Im proud... of ME!. first time in a WHILE!:cool:
    aqua@home's Avatar
    aqua@home Posts: 565, Reputation: 107
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    Aug 5, 2006, 08:13 AM
    Hey Jeff, it sounds like you are doing great. Keep up the cool and take care.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854
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    #3

    Aug 5, 2006, 11:09 AM
    Wouldn't it be great to just know how to do stuff and not go through the learning process? Don't make a new acquaintance more important than your own life. You come first so just go slow, real slow. Very slow,Slow, slow.
    orange's Avatar
    orange Posts: 1,364, Reputation: 197
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    #4

    Aug 5, 2006, 11:27 AM
    That's awesome, Jeff! It sounds like you're doing well. Listen to talaniman about taking it slow. VERY important advice!
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #5

    Aug 5, 2006, 12:07 PM
    That's great Jeff. Make them chase you.

    Less is more - ALWAYS.

    They are only part of your life - not your life!!

    Be busy doing other stuff.

    People WANT what they can't have - always!! Never completely surrender!! Never be always available!!

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