[smokeepunk]

All I do everyday is sit at home and sleep and eat.
I dropped out of school, I am only 15 years old.
My mom has ruined my life and I can't let that go.
Everyday I listen to sad music
Make new scars in my skin every once in a while.
I think about killing myself. Like laying on top of a metal fan and just letting it cut my stomich open and watch all my organs fall out. I get really intence with these feelings.
And a lot of times I get angry and just freeak out and start breaking stuff. I write my name on walls in my own blood. I write poems that are so depressed and heart braking. I write music and play acoustic guitar. All my music is about hate and killing and wanting to die.
I have tried to get help from councelors but they make me even more mad and wanting to die. I draw really weird but cool art. All of them are also about death and overdosing and cutting until there is no more blood to be found in any vain of the body.
I rip my hair out like big chunks... I cry at least once a day. Sometimes I tell myeslf that my only fear is living. But then I'm scared of the afterlife. I don't believe in god and never will. I like to imagine things that aren't real. Not when I'm sleeping, when I'm awake I make myself feel like I'm in the worst place ever made and just suffereing from lack of drugs. Trying to tell myself that I don't need them. But they help so much... the internet talks about how if you have a suicidal friend that they should help. It makes me sad that none of my friends tell me or try to help. All I want is to die. I have thought about overdosing so much... so many times. But never did... that always gets me thinking about what my friends would do or my family if I were to do that. Gosh I have so much more that I could tell you but I have enough wrote down. All I want to know is what do I do? Am I a sucidal... I'm pretty sure I'm positive that I'm depressed.

[tickle]

From what you say, you definitely fit the signs and symptoms of clinical depression, below:

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won't go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.

* you can't sleep enough or you sleep too much
* you can't concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
* you feel worthless and hopeless
* you can't control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
* you have lost your appetite or you can't stop eating
* you are constantly irritated or become enraged even at small things – and this is new for you
* you have thoughts that life is not worth living, or have a plan for how you would end it (Seek help immediately if this is the case)

If you are cutting yourself, that along with the all of the above, is pretty serious, smokeepunk, I guess you might say you are either reaching out for help by putting it down here, or you just want someone to feel sorry for you, bud.

If you can't pull yourself out of this slump and actually believe that anything you do with and for yourself is worthwhile, then you need professional help starting with a counsellor from school or your clergyman.

[jessie1993]

You are defently depressed.
I am 16 years old and have felt exactly the same since I was 12 years old, Though my depression is a chemical one that I can never get rid of.
My advice is go to the doctor and get some anti-depressents. They really do help. I have never been to counceling but I take my anti-depressents everyday and they help a little. No they do not solve everything - That's up to you.
I still get my suicidal thoughts etc but you have to realize that your life is worth living. At your age with hormones raging and all the teenage problems it sucks. I know. But if you feel that bad get help. Don't feel bad for getting help it's the only thing you can do. You can't battle this on your own. If your friends see how down you are and don't try to help you well then they really arnt good friends.
And a word of advice. Don't hurt yourself. You will regret it later. I have scars all over my legs which people constantly ask about and I'm too embarrassed to tell them why. I know it takes the pain away for a few seconds but realise the pain is just going to get worse if you keep on doing it.

I am no doctor or counceler. Just a girl that has gone through this. Get help. You can fix this if you want too. But sadly for me its in my genes its chemical. I will be on anti-depressents for the rest of my life. And if you don't want to be on them for a long time I suggest you get help now.

Good luck. :)
Think posotive.

[Chin-Chee]

Yes from what I have read of the information you have gave is yes indeed you are suicidal, and depressed. You need to get help ASAP!! I have been going through the same thing(NO LIE) and mine is do to a chemical imbalance in my brain(they think or what has happened to me in my past. If you overdose what if you don't succed? U could have live damage, and all kinds of problems, and then they have to pump your stomach, and that's not fun, even though I have never had that done. Don't cut or do anything like that please you will have damage inside your body if you do!

[darnit99]

I am always sad and I think about suicide a lot. I am always aferaid that I am going to get hurt. I cut myself with a shard of glass. I cry a lot. My parents olbviously don't love or care about me. My life is super @!%$# up. And I'm only 12.