I need MAYJOR edvice!

shannonbug · Jan 26, 2009, 08:49 PM

Hey... well it seems like its done with me and the other guy I don't talk to him anymore but... one of my good friends he likes me soooo much!! He tells me all the time... one problem and I am so sorry if I effend anyone I don't mean to but he's black his name is tony and he is such a sweet guy in everyway but my parents aren't to big on the black and whites togeather... my father will disown me witch I really don't care about but I do care about what my mother thinks. I asked her what she would do if I dated a black guy and she said she would still love me but be dissapointed I hate it when they use that word it always gets to u! He treats me so good I really like him and I know if it doesn't work that we will always be close friends! But I am not sure what to do right now... PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE!:confused:

Aphrodite77 · Jan 28, 2009, 06:50 PM

Well.. Im white and my boyfriend is brown... the only problem I had was overcoming my own prejudice... but hey we're dating now and our relationship is awesome.. however, if your parents have a problem with it.. it's showing a flaw in them not in you.. you should let your parents meet him and make sure they like him.. give them time to adjust..

shannonbug · Jan 31, 2009, 11:00 PM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite77

well.. Im white and my boyfriend is brown... the only problem I had was overcoming my own prejudice... but hey we're dating now and our relationship is awesome.. however, if ur parents have a problem with it.. it's showing a flaw in them not in you.. you should let ur parents meet him and make sure they like him.. give them time to adjust..

My mother and father have meet him and my mother likes him my father never says I've known him for going on 4 years

roxypox · Feb 1, 2009, 10:06 AM

yeah it does show a flaw in them, I'm glad your mom likes him... just give them time they'll come around. Often people are scared of what they don't know and sometimes people let their predjudice get the better of them.

My x boyfriend is married to an accountant from Thailand, and his dad was really REALLY skeptical at first, but now he knows her and that skepticism has gone a way.

N0help4u · Feb 1, 2009, 10:17 AM

Right now it is probably best to keep him at friend level and see where things go. Look at it like they haven't disowned you yet so give it time and don't jump into dating yet. Call it hanging out until you see it is seriously getting to the dating level.

Christiee_xxo · Feb 2, 2009, 02:52 PM

You should invite a your parents to dinner at your place, along with tony and a two of your friends who are dating. Your parents will see you two possibly as a couple, and having that extra couple there for dinner will lessen the tension for sure!

chrissymarie · Feb 2, 2009, 03:11 PM

Well while you live in their household unfortunately you have to follow their rules and do your best to make them proud and make living with them as comfortable and easy as possible.

I'd tell Tony the truth about how your parents feel about black and whites together and let him know that you don't feel that way at all but they are your parents and you have to listen to what they say. Let him know you will work on getting them to be more open to the idea of interracial relationships.

He should understand and might be willing to work towards a close friendship with you and then a relationship that you would feel confident would last if your parents did disown you... which I highly doubt they will do. It's just a scare tactic. Unless your father is grandmaster of the kkk He definitely will not disown his daughter for dating someone with a different colored skin, and neither will your mom.

You should bring Tony's name up in your household from time to time so your parents can get to know him through you. Let your parents know about all the good things about him little by little.

linnealand · Feb 2, 2009, 07:24 PM

Perhaps you should tell your parents how disappointed you are in them for being racist or segregationist. Do they consider themselves to be white supremacists, or is their stance just a watered down version of their ideas?

Also, since I've never had a conversation with anyone who thinks this way, I would like to understand why someone would be against "the mixing of the races".

I think it's pathetic.

(by the way, please try your best to include punctuation in your posts. Written as run on sentences, they are difficult to read. Also, using text and chat speak is actually against the rules. Sorry, but it was driving me crazy.)

shannonbug · Feb 3, 2009, 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by linnealand

perhaps you should tell your parents how disappointed you are in them for being racist or segregationist. do they consider themselves to be white supremacists, or is their stance just a watered down version of their ideas?

also, since i've never had a conversation with anyone who thinks this way, i would like to understand why someone would be against "the mixing of the races".

i think it's pathetic.

(by the way, please try your best to include punctuation in your posts. written as run on sentences, they are difficult to read. also, using txt and chat speak is actually against the rules. sorry, but it was driving me crazy.)

Sorry I know I am very bad at that. But yea thank you that actually is a very good idea. I am deffinitly going to do that thank you very much for all of your edvice I will deffinitly take it to heart and act on it.

liz28 · Feb 3, 2009, 05:29 PM

I am black and my fiancé is white. I think it's sad that with everything that is going on in the world people still have a problem with interacial dating. What ever happen to how the person treats you instead of the color of their skin. Were in a new era now where people of different races are dating.

It's good that you've your mom on your side but maybe with time your father will come around or at least respect the relationship.

In the end you only have one life to live so live it and a real man is hard to come by. Finding someone who respects you, treat you well, about something, and makes you happy is like finding a needle in a hay sack.

N0help4u · Feb 3, 2009, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

In the end you only have one life to live so live it and a real man is hard to come by. Finding someone who respects you, treat you well, about something, and makes you happy is like finding a needle in a hay sack.

Exactly. I would rather be with someone no matter their race and have a great relationship with than somebody that I simply get along with but stay with simply for appearance sake.

shannonbug · Feb 4, 2009, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

I am black and my fiance is white. I think it's sad that with everything that is going on in the world people still have a problem with interacial dating. What ever happen to how the person treats you instead of the color of their skin. Were in a new era now where people of different races are dating.

It's good that you've your mom on your side but maybe with time your father will come around or at least respect the relationship.

In the end you only have one life to live so live it and a real man is hard to come by. Finding someone who respects you, treat you well, about something, and makes you happy is like finding a needle in a hay sack.

I totally agree with you in everyway their is! I don't undersand why people have to be like that when as long as the prson you care for is happy and tookin care o ten what's the problem? you should always want thm to be happy know matter what! So why once that happens peope are like no no no that's not going to happen! U can't be happy with them! I don't believ that at all I believe if you are happy and you want to be with someone then its your choiced be happy it shouldn't matter what other people think o what their believefs are its your life do what ever makes you happy! Thank you for your edvice!