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katiekayla1 · Jan 26, 2009, 01:06 PM

I'm currently going through a divorce. My ex has been a constant thorn in my side. I have a restraining order on him but he continues to be a jerk. He has no job and soon his house will be foreclosing. I have joint legal custody of my 11yr. Daughter with myself as primary care giver. I would love nothing more than to move to Florida to just start a new life(no I don't have family there). My daughter has been put on meds. Due to anxiety because my ex tells her untrue things and puts her in the middle. It is really not good for her mental state to see him, but like all kids she wants to see him. There are orders set for visitation with him. I live in CT. How difficult would it be to move away? I know I would have to ask the courts permission, but is this really difficult to get granted seeing that he doesn't really have it together?

katiekayla1 · Jan 26, 2009, 01:11 PM

What about the mother's rights! There are women out there that desperately need to start a new life somewhere else for there own sanity! Examples like this one are prime excuses for men to still "control" them through the children. The fact that the court can control where you live is ridiculous. Make arrangements to visit them on school breaks and during summer.

stevetcg · Jan 26, 2009, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by katiekayla1

What about the mother's rights!! There are women out there that desperately need to start a new life somewhere else for there own sanity! Examples like this one are prime excuses for men to still "control" them through the children. The fact that the court can control where you live is ridiculous. Make arrangements to visit them on school breaks and during summer.

This is a 2 year old thread.

And the mother has rights. She can leave. She just cannot take the kids with her.

Why should the mother's rights outweigh the fathers?

stevetcg · Jan 26, 2009, 02:25 PM

If he has court ordered visitation it will be difficult to impossible to move away with your child. You would either have to get him to agree to it or somehow have the court remove his visitation rights - which you MAY be able to try since his attitude towards the whole situation seems off. But its not going to be easy.

ScottGem · Jan 26, 2009, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by katiekayla1

What about the mother's rights!! There are women out there that desperately need to start a new life somewhere else for there own sanity! Examples like this one are prime excuses for men to still "control" them through the children. The fact that the court can control where you live is ridiculous. Make arrangements to visit them on school breaks and during summer.

Normally I would have just removed this because you were responding to a thread from April 2007. But I felt you deserved an answer so I moved it to the thread you started.

You need to be more objective and put yourself in the other person's shoes. What if it were you the non-custodial parent? What if you kep up your visitation with your child and the custodial parent wanted to move far enough away they you couldn't maintain the same schedule? This is not an issue of mother's right or father's rights. Its an issue of the NCP's rights over the CP's rights.

In your case you have a restraining order against the father. Yet he has visitation with the daughter so the restraining order doesn't extend to her. Is he following the visitation schedule? If not, then you need to keep a journal of all the times he missed. Then you can go baclk to the court and tell them he is not keeping the schedule so that your moving wouldn't be a hardship to him. Its not a given that the court will go along, but its what you need to do.

Yes your ex may be a jerk, but not every NCP is. And NCP's do have rights as well. You talk about men continuing to control women in this way. But what about the woman's control. In the vast majority of cases, the mother gets primary custody and child support. So now the father has to get himself a new place to live while contributing to the children. Generally the father's get the short end of the stick in these things. Some continue to support their kids, others put the mother's through hell.

You ask about mother's rights, but that's not the issue here, it's the rights of the children to be with both parents that is the main concern.

Justwantfair · Jan 26, 2009, 03:27 PM

If he has joint custody you will have to fight through the court system just as if you were fighting for sole custody if you want the right to move out of state with the child.

Most states do allow for you to move within certain boundaries without returning for an order allowing you to move.