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ashleyol · Jan 20, 2009, 05:03 PM

I have been married for almost 4 years now. My husband does not communicate well at all. In fact, he tells me he is unhappy but is not able to tell me why or with what. We do not fight or argue. We spend lots of time together and with friends as a couple.

He is talking about divorce. He has done this once a year (usually in the Spring) since we married. It is a horrible roller coaster for me because I think things are going well and then "poof" we are back where we started. The first time this happened I insisted on counseling and after 3 sessions the counselor told us it was a waste of time since he wouldn't talk about what is wrong.

We love each other. I am not saying I am a wonderful communicator or that our marriage is perfect, but I can not imagine my life without him. We are best friends (or at least he is my best friend). Any thoughts?

andrewc24301 · Jan 20, 2009, 05:36 PM

How old is he? I'm wondering if he is going through some midlife crisis.

450donn · Jan 20, 2009, 06:56 PM

I guess he needs some shock therapy. When he gets home tonight tell him he is moving to the spare bedroom, couch what ever, the sex line is closed and you expect him to either figure out what the problem is and work on getting it fixed or find an apartment. And that you expect this to happen before there is anymore anything. That includes washing, cooking, cleaning, anything that does not directly effects you. And then stick to your guns. Tell him he has 10 days and then you will hire a lawyer and start the divorce he so badly appears to want.

Believe me divorce is the last thing that any body should consider, but this emotional abuse has to stop and you are the only one who can stop it.

ashleyol · Jan 20, 2009, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by andrewc24301

How old is he? I'm wondering if he is going through some midlife crisis.

He is 35 years old.

ashleyol · Jan 20, 2009, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by 450donn

I guess he needs some shock therapy. When he gets home tonight tell him he is moving to the spare bedroom, couch what ever, the sex line is closed and you expect him to either figure out what the problem is and work on getting it fixed or find an apartment. and that you expect this to happen before there is anymore anything. That includes washing, cooking, cleaning, anything that does not directly effects you. And then stick to your guns. Tell him he has 10 days and then you will hire a lawyer and start the divorce he so badly appears to want.

Believe me divorce is the last thing that any body should consider, but this emotional abuse has to stop and you are the only one who can stop it.

We tried the guest room last time. He is in a hotel this time!

andrewc24301 · Jan 20, 2009, 07:04 PM

I tend to agree with this:

Originally Posted by 450donn

I guess he needs some shock therapy. When he gets home tonight tell him he is moving to the spare bedroom, couch what ever, the sex line is closed and you expect him to either figure out what the problem is and work on getting it fixed or find an apartment. and that you expect this to happen before there is anymore anything. That includes washing, cooking, cleaning, anything that does not directly effects you. And then stick to your guns. Tell him he has 10 days and then you will hire a lawyer and start the divorce he so badly appears to want.

Believe me divorce is the last thing that any body should consider, but this emotional abuse has to stop and you are the only one who can stop it.

Big T · Jan 25, 2009, 09:05 PM

To get him to talk you have to assure him that what his is thinking will not be 'held against him' a person has to be able to share there thoughts openly in a safe non-judgemental setting. Tell him how you feel and wait for his response.