[newtime75]

Hello everyone,

I am 20 yrs old, dating the most wonderful girl in the world. Prior to this relationship, I have had little experience with dating, and have absolutely no desire in having anymore (meaning with a different girl).

We have been dating for two years now and up until recently, we lived in the same city. Unfortunately, she moved a six hour drive away for university about five months ago. The beginning was rough, but we seemingly got through it by calling often and seeing each other every 3-4 weeks for a weekend. Lately, she has been pretty busy with school and calling has been more difficult. Because of school and work, we had to agree to not seeing each other for a month and a half, and meet again on feb 14.

Tonight, we talked on the phone and I confessed to her that I wish she made more time for us, and that I needed more than an hour a week on the phone with her. She responded by saying that she had been thinking about it, and it seems like our long term goal is getting hazy. You see, she will be gone for three years. We both love each other, and agree we are meant for each other but the long distance is very difficult to bear.

We have decided to take a few days to think of an alternative to breaking up, but we talked of what seems like the most feasible solution: We take a "break" for this time (three years), and do our own things, and in three years we try and see if we can get together again. This is not a final decision, but we have both agreed that this is a safer bet than continuing our slowly declining relationship and risking a bitter end. I admit I would be able to put up with our present day dilemma since I do not want to even take that break, but I'll take any chance I can to be with her...

I am so confused and need big time help!! Should we take this break? If so, should there be rules or timeframes? Maybe we should try and change things up in our present day situation like talk more? Please do not tell me to break up and get on with life because I am still young, because I don't want to, and will not do that.

Thank you.

[411Help]

Usually, I don't advocate breaks, but, in this particular situation, I think I will.

Sometimes life comes in between two people who are madly in love and you two need to realize that it's either of your faults. For these three years, move on, build a life without her. If and when she contacts you, you can deal with it then. Don't fear the future, and work on the present.

[talaniman]

I guess your about to learn that life makes you do things you don't want to. Now you can fight, or live your life, but waiting 3 years is ridiculous.

Bugging her to change her mind, is just as riduclous.