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angeltearz · Jan 14, 2009, 02:04 PM

I am a college sophomore and I am madly in love with my boyfriend. We want to get married, but the problem is that I got to school far far away (in a different country) than the one in which I live (and where he is). He wants us to get married as soon as possible, and I want that as well... but now I'm confused because I have to choose between finishing college and getting married. Is marriage more important than college, or is college (an education) more important? Im scared that if I don't leave school to marry him, things won't work out and we'll break up (coz we've had so many problems in the past)... but on the other hand I'm scared that if I do leave, somewhere down the road I will regret not having finished school. Any suggestions or answers I can get will be greatly appreciated.

templelane · Jan 14, 2009, 02:08 PM

If he loves you and the relationship is able to work then he will wait for you to finish your education. True love waits. If you do break up, better finding out you are not compatible now before you are married.

stevetcg · Jan 14, 2009, 02:13 PM

Based on statistics alone:

If you drop out of school you most likely will never return. If you get married it is better than average that you will get divorced based on the age I assume you are.

The guy will wait or he isn't the one. Stay in school and finish.

jjwoodhull · Jan 14, 2009, 02:14 PM

Your education is very important. Many people leave school planning to go back later and finish but most never do.

Why is he in such a hurry to get married? Also, it is concerning that something of this nature could break you up. If that is true, then the relationship is not as strong as it should be for marriage.

Justwantfair · Jan 14, 2009, 02:16 PM

Education!

If he loves you, he will still be there following your education and it will make your future that much brighter together.

There is no need to hurry love.

450donn · Jan 14, 2009, 02:47 PM

Please get your education. You will be only what 23-24? When you graduate. By then you may realize that he is not the person you thought he was and move on to someone better. Is he going to college too?

J_9 · Jan 14, 2009, 02:55 PM

Education is something that can never be taken away from you. Marriages, on the other hand, end all the time.

Should you leave school now and get married, you will most likely regret it after your marriage breaks up and you have no education to fall back on.

If he loves you, he will wait. If he won't wait, then he's not worth it.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 14, 2009, 03:10 PM

Naming the countries may help some, is he in school, does he work, could he support you if you got married, to go to school where he is at, there are schools almost everywhere.

Could he move to where you go to school,

How did you meet, are you from the same country, how long have you known him

angeltearz · Jan 14, 2009, 04:20 PM

Fr_Chuck... I couldn't find a way to answer the questions you asked, so I am posting a reply to my own question with added info.
My boyfriend is Italian, he never went to college, but has a really good job (he owns a restaurant) and is about to start another business. He is very successful. He says he'll help me even start my own business if I want to.
I thought about changing schools, but I am on an academic scholarship in the US, and that is the main reason I am even in college. Without the scholarship I couldn't afford college. Schools back home (in South Africa) don't give scholarships very often so I wouldn't be able to do that there. BF says he'll pay though, once we're married. He can't move here because of the business. Im south african and he is italian. We've known each other 3yrs (but broke up for 9months during this time).
All what everyone is saying makes perfect sense, but I love him so much and I hate not being with him (and he doesn't eat and can't sleep when we're not together). Im just scared that us being apart will break him, that is why I am torn and seriously contemplating getting married now... it breaks my heart to see him suffer.

wolfgangqpublic · Jan 14, 2009, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by angeltearz

Fr_Chuck...i couldnt find a way to answer the questions u asked, so i am posting a reply to my own question with added info.
My boyfriend is Italian, he never went to college, but has a really good job (he owns a restaurant) and is about to start another business. He is very successful. He says he'll help me even start my own business if i want to.
I thought about changing schools, but i am on an academic scholarship in the US, and that is the main reason i am even in college. Without the scholarship i couldnt afford college. Schools back home (in South Africa) dont give scholarships very often so i wouldnt be able to do that there. BF says he'll pay though, once we're married. He can't move here coz of the business. Im south african and he is italian. We've known each other 3yrs (but broke up for 9months during this time).
All what everyone is saying makes perfect sense, but i love him so much and i hate not being with him (and he doesnt eat and can't sleep when we're not together). Im just scared that us being apart will break him, that is why i am torn and seriously contemplating getting married now...it breaks my heart to see him suffer.

Your reasons for considering marriage therefore have nothing to do with YOU. As a result, I wholeheartedly implore you NOT to seek marriage at this time.

lisa1122tx · Jan 15, 2009, 12:10 AM

Stay in school. Marry afterward. You will regret it if you leave school. If he loves you he will wait. If he doesn't wait then move on without him. Things happen for a reason - be assured of that. If he won't wait then you are not supposed to be with him. STAY IN SCHOOL PLEASE!! You both can wait.