[bunny100]

Hi I need some advice with a situation I have got into and I really don't know which way to turn I'm gay and it involves two other people.I had a long term relationship for 8 years with a women who is 17 years older than me I then broke it up 1 year ago and got into another relationship with someone 17 years younger than me I still had contact with my old one and see her as a friend a lot I'm now in a situation were I love them both but have to make a decition as to who I want to be with but I told my old patrner I made a mistake and wanted her back this was 2 weeks ago we are suppose to be moving away in a few weeks as we sold our house and she was moving away to her sisters but I don't have any friends their only her family.the one who is 17 years younger than me has a few problems we were working through she drinks a lot and is very insecure but has know idea this is going on.I know this is not fair but I don't want to say anything until I'm sure.we row a lot and I know she does love me its all to do with being insucure.when she drinks she gets all emotional and lives the past as she has been sexsually when she was young.she also cheated on me a few month after we had been together but swears she won't do it again she can at times be selfish and puts herself first.the older one has a gental manner and also loves me to bits in the 8 years we were together we only once had a row she is 56 and I'm 39 and the younger one is 23.the older one is calm and does understand me as she says she can read me like a book!at the min I work away 1 week on 1 week off and in staying at hers and suppose to be moving in with her.we have made a lot of friends togeather but I'm so scarred about making the wrong decition and is even harder as I love them both for different reasons.I also feel guilty because I really hurt the older 1 when we broke up and if I decide to stay with the younger 1 it will break her heart again.she went to her sisters last week and has found a flat for us so even more complications.I would talk to my mum as I always have but she will tell me to go home and talk it out with them and I should get my own place and live on my own she doesn't understand as she has a problem with the gay thing please help me!!

[ja77]

I do not feel your mom has a problem with gay things by her comments I think she is giving you good advise too look out for yourself.

What you are doing is not right at present you need to really make your mind up because you can not pick 2.

Only you can make that choice no one is going to be able to tell you which person to make the choice for because none of us here no either of you. I would advise you to not rush and make a choice you could make your life worse.

[Andrea_Shaula]

I think that if you question is who should I pick, I´ll probably say the older one if you feel you need to be in a safe loving, fullfilling relationship (that´s how you portrayed her that´s the vibe I´ve got) If you feel that you need to care and protect and deal with other issues (it doesn´t matter if you do it out of self pitty... like you are satying with the most conflictive because you need to pay for brakeing the loving, and steady older girl´s heart). If you think you should be with the young.. be ready to have a roally coaster of emotions... dangerous and toxic emotions for you, and deal with it... If you are to return to the old one.. be completely sure you are going to devote yourself to her and give all the love you are capable in order to heal her wounds, and if you get shor of love get more.
I want you to realize that you portrayed as a beautiful woman the older one, and a complete mess to the young one.. maybe deep down you al ready had taken the desition. I´m sorry you have to be in this position, but on the bright side you have a lot of love all over you, from the old, from the young and from your mom. I hope I could help you or at least don´t confuse you any more. Good Luck and I hope you find and give all the happiness of the world

[talaniman]

i should get my own place and live on my own she doesn't understand as she has a problem with the gay thing please help me!!

Your mom is right, be on your own and single until you make a decision. By the way, there is no gay thing here to understand.