[suddenImpact]

My x and I were together almost 5 years and had a beautiful little girl. The beginning of last August she left me and said she wasn't happy with me anymore. A lot of stuff has happened with us, lots of arguing, and lots of really bad things said. She even brought the new guy she was hanging out with (and eventually slept with) over to help her move out of our house.

About a month ago, I finally started to feel like I was getting over her.. I met a few new people and have been hanging out with them a lot lately. Well, now my x is trying desperately to get me back. She says she finally realized what she had, and realized that she can't live without me. The last couple weeks, she has been being very nice to me again, we've even gone out a couple times, and had fun each time.

Last Sunday would have been our 5 year anniversary, I took her out to dinner, and gave her, her old engagement ring back. I told her the ring does not mean anything that it used to mean, and never will. All it means, as long as she wears it, is that we both promise to try to be nice, and see where things go. When and if we ever get back to that point, she would get a new engagement ring. She had told me if I take her back, she wanted it to be on our old anniversary date, that way it could stay the same. I told her no, I don't want that date. To me, that date just marks the beginning of a relationship that failed, we need to start completely over with as much as we can.

I do still love love her... but I also am finally starting to enjoy being single. I told her all we are right now is friends. We need to go a few months at least this way to make sure things can change. I don't know... am I doing the right thing by telling her this? I told her I don't want her to feel like I'm leading her on, although I haven't, and don't plan to sleep with anyone else, I like the feeling of being able to go do what I want when I want.

Should I try again, or just let her go?

[Justwantfair]

If you wanted just friendship, you made a huge mistake giving her back her old engagement ring, in my opinion.

The choice to stay or go is really only up to you, from your short synopsis no one will be able to tell you if the relationship has a future. People encounter rough times, people change, things happen, some things that you can work together through and some things that the right answer is to go your separate ways.

You two have a child together which ups the ante to try and work out this relationship. You need to evaluate what it is you REALLY want and make it clear. Saying you are just friends and giving her back her old engagement ring can give VERY conflicting statements.

[suddenImpact]

Thanks... in a way I think you answered my question the way I hoped for. I have a hard time believing that people will actually change. I want to be with her. I do still love her. There are still many days where I think about her non-stop. I just don't know if I can get myself to believe that things will stay different.

[Justwantfair]

Good luck to you, hopefully you will try again. Sometimes there isn't a real loss to trying. You lose some additional time, but it won't take to long to know if you can or can't work out this relationship. If her commitment is strengthened by your separation you may find the relationship stronger than ever.

[talaniman]

When in doubt, take all the time you need to figure out what works best for you. There is no hurry, so don't be pressured.

[zeeniee]

I think you should take this v slow and develop a new friendship at a better level considering you have a child between you. Start with that and see how it goes?