[Confundido13]

Hello,

I had been dating this girl for almost 3 years. I'm 26 she's 25. We are both from different countries and met in the US while in college. Everything in the relationship was good never really fought or argued. From the beginning and up to the last 8 months in our relationship she always said she loved me more than anything in the world, that I was her soul mate and wanted to marry me.
We lived in the same town were we met and both went to college for the first year. I had just graduated and was working full time when I met her and she was a senior, everything was great. Then she moved to a big town to do her masters 3 hours away.
For a long time she didn't know anybody there and couldn't wait for me to come down to see her or her come up to see me. But then I guess she wasn't so happy and I didn't know anything about what she was feeling. She began to get depressed and home sick. She felt that she wasn't a part of her families life and she wanted to move back home after she graduated.
After she goes home for a two weeks break she started acting weird and saying that things just didn't feel right, that she wanted to go home after graduating and that it was hard because I was from one country and she was from another and we met in the middle. Most of her friends back home are single and her to roomates in college where she was now doing her masters where also single and always wanted her to go out (just girls night out and say like, now that he's coming down your not going to spend any time with us. And she would buy into all their B... S... ).
So after getting tired of the same stuff for a couple of weeks we I asked her if she met somebody else (home or in college), if she didn't love me anymore, if she felt like she was missing out on something (partying and being single). She answered NO to everything so I said so what is it, and she would only say I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. So I said I'm going to make it easy on you since you can't say it I will,, Were done and I left.
We end up getting back together 2 days later and she told me I really hurt her and that wasn't what she wanted.
So she begins to go out more with her friends as if she was single like them. And I guess she started to enjoy the attention and having girls night out because she really hadn't experienced that.
So to make the long story short,, lol,, we continue to see each other on the weekends and we act like nothing has happened but there is still a lot of tension. She comes to see me a month before she graduates and breaks up with saying that she doesn't know what she wants, she needs time and space to find herself, she feels like she is not doing anything in the relationship, that she needs to be happy with herself before she can give everything to me, that she still loves me and hopes I'm not mad at her, that she wants to be friends and that she does see us in the future.
She is the first woman to ever me up! I never new how this felt like until now but I have really good on kepping no contact but she still call and texts me like twice a week, and gets mad when I ignore her texts.

What should I continue to do? Should I let her come back to me or should I pursue her? Have any woman felt this way before?? And is there a chance to get back together??

Thanks so much!!

[RosesSpins]

You've heard the expression "If you love something set it free. . .?" In my experience that is true. My husband and I were in the same situation when we were young and I said, " I wish I could MAKE you love me like I love you. But no one can MAKE a person love them. So here's the deal. You do what you want, you take your time, have your fun. And when you realize that I'm the girl for you . . . And I AM the girl for you. Let me know" We were engaged less than a month later.

[Confundido13]

I understand that completely! :) I truly believe we are meant to be together!! I'm really giving her that time she needs to figure out her life but I don't know if I should only maintain contact when she calls, texts or emails me?? Or if I should at least once a week be the one that calls or texts her??

[jmw0713]

I'm sorry, but this relationship looks to be over. The tension will never stop until, you give her what she asks for... SPACE.

This means you do not contact her. You don't see her or do anything with her. If she wants you back, she will let you know.

In the mean time, it is time for you to do your own thing and let her do hers.

It's hard to realize, but this is a done deal. Sorry.

[talaniman]

Let her get mad, just cut the contact, and put your life back together, and enjoy yourself without her.

Being dumped is one thing, it happens, but letting her control your thoughts and actions are another as she has lost that position when she dumped you.

[cbsf]

I think she's immature and wants to have it both ways. You should move on and find someone who is ready to be committed to you -- and you will, there are plenty of others looking.