[nike 1]

My girlfriend and I are both 37, I have 3 children from a previous marriage, she has 1 daughter fron a previous relationship, and we had a child together who is now 1 year old. We lived together for the past two years, and split up two months ago because of finances and not getting along. We have had many arguments and fights over jealousy, kids, work. In a few cases, she was arrested for domestic violence against me. Her parents always seemed to take up for her and bail her out of situations throughout her life. Whenever we had a disagreement, she would always blame me for everything without admitting to what she did. I have been out of work for the good part of the year and have tried very hard to get another job. Most jobs won't hire me based on the fact of my past experience of being a manager and feel I would not want to stay in a lower paying job for long. This recession has made it very hard to get work. In consequence, we could no longer afford to pay the bills and had to move out and she stays with her parents and I with mine for the meantime. Since the split up, we have been communicating and still love each other very much and both still hope to get our finances straightened out so we can re-establish our family together. We have also dealt with many of our problems between each other, mostly by phone and e-mail, and have come to the agreement that most of our arguments were the result of financial stress and circumstances, pretty much leaving it to that without placing blame on one person, and sharing fault equally. She claims as I do that we are soulmates and the only one for each other. Now this past Friday, she wanted to meet up and go out and spend some time together since her daughter was at her father's for the weekend. I was eager to meet up, I missed her so much. Anyway, at first the night was going great, we couldn't have been happier to be together. After we had a few drinks, we decided to go see a movie. When we got there, I can't exactly remember how we got on the subject, but she told me her parents didn't know we were seeing each other or trying to work out our relationship. I asked why and she said that her mom was still mad at me. I told her my parents or friends don't care for her either but I would never keep it a secret. She said that she has to live under their roof. Immediately I left and went home. I haven't talked to her since and she hasn't tried to communicate with me. What should I do? I still love her. Is this relationship that important to her since she keeps it a secret? What should I do? Thank you for reading this.

[talaniman]

For one thing are you serious about working on this relationship? You don't act like it, as tromping off was not the way to go.

Given your history, and circumstances, keeping her parents off her back is very understandable, and you handled yourself like a big immature kid, instead of understanding.

Not good and if I were her, you would be history.

Stress is one thing, bad behavior, and over reacting is entirely another thing.