[sweet20]

I need a little bit of advise about if I should let my baby's dad come stay with me this weekend... k look I hate him he left me when I was 3 months pregnant... he cheated on me... and my daughter is 3 now and he's only seen her 2 times in those whole 3 yrs, he's never gave me money or anything at all for her. Welll now he's calling me saying that he wants to come and stay the weekend with me so he could spend time with her... and my daughter doesn't know him.. so I don't know if I should let him see her!! would it be the rite thing to do to let him come or a it's a bad idea??

[HistorianChick]

Bad idea.

1. You hate him.
2. He cheated on you.
3. He left you alone when you were 3 months pregnant.
4. He hasn't been a part of your daughter's life.
5. He has neglected his duties as a father.
6. You don't want to see him.

All of these things add up to a bad idea.

I don't know laws about parental rights and all, but if, sometime down the line, he starts yelling for his "parental rights," under NO circumstances should you let him stay at your house. If he "must" see her (and you agree to it), he should pay the money to stay at a hotel and only see your daughter in your supervision - I'd even say that you s hould get someone to be there with you... a parent, sibling, good friend.

This is a REALLY bad idea...

[Jake2008]

I would allow him to see his daughter. With conditions. There should be someone else there with you while he visits. The visit should be for a set amount of time.

If he does have visions of being a real father in this child's life, he shouldn't be expecting that you will just open the door and allow him in for the weekend. Instead, maybe arrange to meet with him in a neutral place, and discuss what his intentions are.

He should be paying support. Has this been established? Have you gone to court to file for support?

I would certainly question the motives of anybody who uses a child as an excuse to weasle a weekend with an old flame, which is what I think this is.

He hasn't been a father, and I doubt he is ready now. Let him satisfy his curiosity legally, with some sort of agreed upon visitation, with of course, regular support cheques.

[ladyluv21]

It all depends on what you want.I think he has a right to see his child.but you have the right to rectrict his access to her as well.im going through a situation where my sons father wants back in but he's always been there for our son.I wish I could tell you what to do.follow your heart.think of her and not af yourself.he is her father and as she gets older she's going to want to know where he was when she was growing up.you will be the one to explain it to her.do you want to tell her that he left and when he wanted to come back in her life you sent him packing?? love her enough to give her the chance to know her father.give him the chance to know his little girl.if at that point you believe he's doing more harm than good then shut him out.dont let him come and go in and out of her life.but if he's going to be a constant,you can at least let him try.think of her always.I know your mad as hell but never let your children pay for their parents mistakes.I hope I helped