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confusedgirl55 · Jan 7, 2009, 11:05 AM

I have been married for about 5 years and our relationship has been very lacking in sex and emotion. He works 7 days a week and provides me with all of my dreams... except himself emotionally. He is very busy and tired when he comes home and I am not attracted to him sexually so sex does not really happen. He still finds me sexually attractive... but when he tries stuff I can't do it. He is a wonderful person and a great guy- I know how lucky I am to have him. He wants to have kids and that scares me to death because of the way I feel about him. But I have been talking to another guy I met online and I love him with all of myheart. We laugh and have fun all day when we talk- he loves me and wants to be together. I have never felt this connected or excited about anyone. And I don't feel these feelings for my husband. Should I fly to see him (he lives far across the US) in case he is the one for me? Or should I stay with my husband, stop talking to this guy, and try to make it work? My flight is scheduled to leave tomorrow! Please help!

Synnen · Jan 7, 2009, 11:08 AM

Are you serious?

Do you really expect people to tell you to cheat on your husband?

Cancel your flight and schedule a session with a counselor. By yourself at first--but then include your husband.

Why are you married to him if you're not sexually attracted to him?

Either way--you need to END your current relationship before you START a new relationship. There's very little excuse for you NOT to do that.

As far as your husband working 7 days a week--what the heck are YOU doing, if you can talk and laugh with another guy all day? Maybe if you were working as well, he wouldn't have to work such long hours and you'd have more time to be together.

jjwoodhull · Jan 7, 2009, 11:13 AM

First, you don't ANYTHING about the guy you met on the internet. Think about your safety before you get on a plane to see him.

Second, you are obviously lying to your husband and about to cheat on him. What did he do to deserve this kind of treatment. Have respect for him and for yourself. Try to save your marriage. If that doesn't work, then resolve the issue BEFORE you move on.