[karatemom]

I have been divorced for over 3 years. I have 2 children to my previous marriage. He pays court ordered child support for both children. He has not bothered contacting his children for the last 2 1/2 years. If I drop the child support, can I relinquish the rights of their birth father? He has history of drug and alcohol abuse. He also was verbally and emotionally abusive to myself and the children during our marriage. During our divorce, I had to file a PFA against him. Which is now null and void. When we split, he never wanted to spend quality time with the children except to use them as a tool to make them have "bad feelings" about me. I have proof and my family/friends would testify that he is an unfit father. I am currently engaged and my fiancé would like to adopt them once we are married. Can anyone please help me?? Can I relinquish his rights involuntarily?
Thank you!!

~KarateMom

[stevetcg]

Short answer: no.

Longer answer: He can voluntarily give up his rights if you are married and your husband wants to adopt. This, in most states, cannot occur until you have been married over a year.

However, if he refuses to give up his rights, there is very little you can do. Getting rid of child support payments encourages a lot of absentee parents, but not all.

Bottom line: you cannot force the matter, but you can encourage it.

[this8384]

You cannot relinquish anything. Your children's father has to agree to it and then it's up to the court whether they feel it's in the best interest of the child.

If your fiancé is willing to adopt and your ex is willing to give up his rights, then it will probably go more smoothly. But if your ex doesn't want to give up his rights, you can't force him.