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    laura1corinth13's Avatar
    laura1corinth13 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 5, 2009, 07:16 PM
    Why won't he make us official? Male input appreciated
    Why won't he committ? Guys please answer. =)?
    I have been spending a considerable amount of time with a man for the past four months. He and I do most everything that adults do in a normal healthy relationship; aside from the fact that we are not "officially" seeing each other.

    He comes around almost every day: we laugh, we play, we watch movies, we eat together, he plays with my two small children etc...

    I have tried to bring up the subject of where we stand together in this and what we are doing but he always blows it of or changes the subject. I told him I was falling in love with him and he replied, "you shouldn't love me" Sounds like a guilty conscious to me...

    My gut tells me he is waiting for something "better" to come along. Then again that may just be my insecurities getting the best of me.

    I don't know what to do about this "relationship" he makes me very happy and I assume I make him happy also.. Why would he come around so much and spend so much time with me and the kids if he was not enjoying it? Why won't he make our "relationship" official?
    NItEMArE129's Avatar
    NItEMArE129 Posts: 222, Reputation: 29
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    #2

    Jan 5, 2009, 07:21 PM

    Have you confronted him? Most guys won't give you a really good answer right away. When he says you shouldn't love him, do you pursue the subject? Or do you just let it go? Pursuing might lead to some more information which would help us people out on this forum a lot. I'm sorry, but I, personally, don't think you have enough information in your post. How long have you known him? Have you been friends before? Those kinds of things are very important.
    laura1corinth13's Avatar
    laura1corinth13 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 5, 2009, 07:30 PM

    I've known of him for years (we are from a small town) but we were never really close friends. When he said that I shouldn't love him I didn't pursue the subject... I've asked him before why he would not make us "official" and he changed the subject and started joking around.
    NItEMArE129's Avatar
    NItEMArE129 Posts: 222, Reputation: 29
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    #4

    Jan 5, 2009, 07:46 PM

    Well if he's avoiding it, don't you think it's worth knowing?
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #5

    Jan 5, 2009, 07:48 PM

    Why should he commit. He gets the sex for free.
    MarkwithaK's Avatar
    MarkwithaK Posts: 955, Reputation: 107
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    #6

    Jan 5, 2009, 07:58 PM

    Stop giving it up and see how he reacts.
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #7

    Jan 5, 2009, 09:04 PM

    Why he won't commit? He is not that into you.

    I assume sex came too early before he realized your value in his life.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Jan 6, 2009, 06:13 AM

    My grandfather told me that why would a person buy a cow if all the mild is free.

    First being around your kids should not even happen for a month or two and never before there is a committement of some sort. I was dating a lady for 3 months before she even meet my son. Children do not need different people coming into and out of their lives.
    kenny1234's Avatar
    kenny1234 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Oct 8, 2009, 05:02 AM

    My guess is that he is worried your kids might grow to resent him
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