[survivorboi]

The past 2 years, I have been very horrible to myself. I stopped myself from speaking out and being happy. I stopped myself from being myself. I have done truly damage. I am seeking forgiveness from me, but my heart just doesn't seem to forgive me. I always feel shame in me, I just feel so bad and failure. I need help and advice please.

[Clough]

Hi, survivorboi!

As you've already stated, you stopped yourself from doing certain things. So, you made a choice and were able to be in control. It would then make sense that you should be able to make a choice to be in control to be positive and proactive in your thoughts.

Would you mind sharing what it was that you think was being horrible to yourself, please?

Thanks!

[liz28]

You want to forgive yourself than do it. You can write yourself a letter or when you look at yourself in the mirror say something to yourself. You can say something like I will start speaking up for myself or I'll be happy, something positive.

Also, if you do write the letter keep it with you and look at it whenever you feel like your not being you.

Writing a New Year resolulation could help too. It is a New Year and a new day so this gives the chance to start fresh and don't repeat the past. Sometimes writing down what you want to do different or change about yourself can help and you can cross things out as you go along and even reward yourself too.

No matter what you do, be you because when your not your only fooling yourself.

Best wishes!

[chrissymarie]

Get a punching bag and beat that up... take care of yourself though. You only get one life to live and you don't want to live it as a prisoner to yourself. Do some good for others you'll feel a lot better about yourself.

[ja77]

OP can I ask you a quick question -

Do you love yourself?

The reason I ask you this is because a lot of the issues you have said in your posting could be down to having very low self esteem in yourself and not being able to see things as a clear picture. A lot of people can feel the way you do if they feel that they can not love themselves.

I really think that it is time that you started to look out for yourself and say it is good that you have made a first step by posting here on the forum. You may not want to hear my next step - but you need to - It is time that you put off not living and not been able to be yourself, I would say for the next step, book yourself in with your Doctor and explain all of your feelings to them and request that they help you with some good counseling.

Good luck.

[survivorboi]

I love myself.
I have said to myself many times, that, I promise to myself I will let me be happy and not stand in front of me. Then, when in public, I just can't get the courage to do what I promised to do!

I often stopped myself from speaking my mind. I don't know why. I just think it's lame and not worth listening. I also stop myself from standing up to myself because I might mess up and embarrass myself. That is just some of the MANY things that I've done!

In my house with my family, I'm very good attitude. I feel like good about myself. Confident, life loving. But in public, I feel very small and somewhat vulnerable. I feel that nobody notices I am there.