Check out some similar questions!

Darkangel32208 · Jan 5, 2009, 11:28 AM

OK well I try and try to prove myself to my boyfriend but no matter what I do he just does not believe that I love him I don't no what to do I do love him I have done everything he has ever asked of me even to run away with him and I was going to but it turns out he just wanted to see if I would really do it. We are getting married but how can I live with the fact that he does not think I love him?? PLEASE HELP ME SHOW HIM THAT I DO LOVE HIM!! :(

kctiger · Jan 5, 2009, 11:39 AM

First of all, and don't take this the wrong way, but you and him have no business getting married. This is an absolutely stupid question and to be honest if he still cannot accept that you love him, then why would he marry you? Would you jump off a bridge to show him you love him? I mean, where do you draw the line? How old are you?

starbuck8 · Jan 5, 2009, 11:43 AM

It sounds as if you have a great lack of communication in your relationship, as well as issues of insecurity. I think your boyfriend needs to work through his issues before the two of you even consider marriage, or neither of you are going to be happy.

This isn't up to you to prove to him at this point. This is his problem, and although you can support him, this is his problem, and his alone.

I actually think both of you need to get some professional help from a counselor or therapist. It seems to me you may have things you need to work through also. You sound like you are enabling him, by doing anything and everything he asks of you, just to keep him.

Just the fact that he asked you to run away with him, and you agreed to go, only to have him tell you it was a test, sends off big flashing red lights!

I would take a step back and work on yourselves before you go any further in this relationship. Both of you sound desperate!

Darkangel32208 · Jan 5, 2009, 11:45 AM

IM 17 and I do draw the line I love him but I would never like kill myself over it and he loves me he is just very insecure----Darkangel32208

kctiger · Jan 5, 2009, 11:47 AM

You are 17 and are talking marriage? Come on now!! Wake up. Is this your first relationship? You two are in no way ready for marriage, let alone a healthy relationship right now.

kctiger · Jan 5, 2009, 11:50 AM

P.S. Love isn't about material things or anything of that nature. It isn't a bouquet or a box of chocolates. Love is about enjoying each other's company, and spending quality time together. Holding hands, holding each other, and comforting one another everyday. You shouldn't have to continually prove it, as it isn't something you can see, but something that you can feel.

starbuck8 · Jan 5, 2009, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

You are 17 and are talking marriage?? Come on now!!! Wake up. Is this your first relationship? You two are in no way ready for marriage, let alone a healthy relationship right now.

Exactly right! I was hoping that maybe it was a matter of a man that had a ton of baggage from previous relationships, and had trust issues. Not that it would be a good scenario anyway, but being 17 and having issues like this? No way! Step away from the alter!

ja77 · Jan 5, 2009, 11:52 AM

well I try and try to prove myself to my boyfriend

That just sounds like your boyfriend is twisted. In a normal relationship no one has to prove anything.

I have done everything he has ever asked of me even to run

As in the posting above - if he told you to jump of a bridge would you ?

it turns out he just wanted to see if I would really do it

This looks like a manipulator and a control freak!

This relationship with what you have written seems doomed, this guy seems no good for you with all the tests and having to prove yourself.

Why do you put up with this - I would kick him to the kerb and find myself someone real with out all the games.

He is playing you - wake up -

Romefalls19 · Jan 5, 2009, 12:45 PM

Wow... This relationship is so royally screwed it's unbelievable. Since when should you have to prove you love someone? Especially someone who wants to get married to you? A normal healthy relationship would simply hear the words "I love you" and that would be enough. You shouldn't have to bend and bend to prove love. Love is unconditional and for him to ask you to run away with him, shows me that he doesn't think to highly of your morals.

At 17 you are just beginning to experience life and to think you are ready for marriage is a fairytale that you have thought up. Where do you draw the line? You say you won't kill yourself for him, right? But what's to say he won't break your heart, and you are making him your whole world and it will kill you when he leaves. A functional relationship should be one where you can stand on your own but get support from your partner.

Take a stand and bring the power back into your life. He has complete control over you, whether you want to admit it or not.

ja77 · Jan 5, 2009, 12:49 PM

Take a stand and bring the power back into your life. He has complete control over you, whether you want to admit it or not.

This is a very true and good statement.

Darkangel32208 · Jan 6, 2009, 08:49 AM

I do understand what all of you are saying and maybe your right yes I am 17 but I'm not the one with the problem my 24 year old boyfriend is and yes I do love him and I no that he loves me. And as far as the... I have done everything he has ever asked of me I mean like going to see him when I'm busy because we have to hide our relationship and things like that. He wanted me to run away with him because my patents don't approve of us being together even though I'm turning 18 next month. We both can't stand being apart. ---- did I make the situation a little clearer now?? :(

Romefalls19 · Jan 6, 2009, 09:09 AM

Still not going to change my stance that you two should be together. Things will only get worse, of course he can't stand being apart from you, he can control you perfectly fine when you two are together and in contact.

starbuck8 · Jan 6, 2009, 09:23 AM

Yes, it does make things clearer! Clearer in the sense that it adds one more reason not to marry him! He is controlling you AND you have to sneak around to see him. My sense is, that your parents have a darn good reason for not liking this guy! I know you feel like you love him but trust me, you are headed for disaster!

asking · Jan 6, 2009, 09:24 AM

Your boyfriend is unreasonable. He's old enough to know better. Your obsession with one another (can't stay away) is a normal but temporary phase of a sexual relationship. Later it will still be "You don't love me; you never wash my socks like other wives." Without the lust.

This man can make your life absolutely miserable. He has already begun. Please, run the other way. We are not your parents, just random strangers and we are basing what we say on what you are telling us, not preconceptions. This guy sounds like a manipulator and control freak, no matter how charming.

I would tell you to RUN the other way, but I don't think you'll do it. So at least take a break from him and get some distance. Do not put your life in this man's hands.