[cinder1ella]

My husband disappears for hours to the casino without calling or letting me know what he is doing. He calls and says he is on his way home and I won't hear from him for 4-6 hours. When I call him he does not answer ,he eventually calls me back and tells me that he is at the casino. He is drinking and gambling all my love away.
I don't know what to do. We are almost married 15years, 2 kids, this has been going on the entire time, I guess I am done dealing with it.:confused:any ideas, suggestions.

[ja77]

It would look like he has an addiction.

You need to tell him straight that you are not going to put up with it anymore, either he seeks help and changes or you are gone. You need to make him see what his actions are doing to your love and also to his kids.

Be warned if he is addicted unless he wants help there is nothing that can be done until he faces it.

I have enclosed some links below hope it helps. JA

Gamblers Anonymous Official Home Page

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_gambling

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addiction

[chuff]

I like Ja77 advice above. I would ask him, "Do you love gambling or me and kids more." Such a question might jolt him into looking at the bigger picture.

[MarkwithaK]

Such a question might jolt him into looking at the bigger picture.

I don't see that question as serving any purpose. Like most people with addictions they usually feel that they have it all under control despite what others around them feel. They opened a few casinos here starting about 15 years ago and I have seen no good come from them. I used to work with a guy that lost upwards of $30,000 in a single night and he was not a wealthy man.

[chuff]

I don't see that question as serving any purpose. Like most people with addictions they usually feel that they have it all under control despite what others around them feel. They opened a few casinos here starting about 15 years ago and I have seen no good come from them. I used to work with a guy that lost upwards of $30,000 in a single night and he was not a wealthy man.

The only money I ever won in a casino was in Michigan City, Indiana ironically enough. The purpose of the question was just that as you stated. People with addictions think they are in control and don't realize what is going on around them. He may be so wrapped up in the gambling he doesn't see or realize those around him are moving in a direction away from him. The point of the question is to jolt him into seeing what's going on.

[Fr_Chuck]

Have him locked out when he comes in next time. Tell him that if he can not come home and be a husband and father, don't bother coming home

[MarkwithaK]

I understand the intention of the question but if it were that easy then there would be no such thing as addiction. Being addicted to gambling is no different then being addicted to drugs or alcohol or anything else when you break it down to it's basic foundation. A junkie is not going to stop using or an alcoholic stop drinking just because his kids beg him to.

[MarkwithaK]

The only money I ever won in a casino was in Michigan City, Indiana ironically enough.

The Blue Chip? Lol Of all the casinos around here the only one I have ever been in was in Biloxi, Mississippi.

[chuff]

I never said he would stop nor did I say it would be solved with one question. I clearly stated that I liked Ja77's response. I said the idea was to get him out of his current frame of reference. His mind is on auto pilot, so now he needs something to jolt him in a new direction. I never suggested his kids beg him at all. In fact I never suggested his kids do anything. I suggested his wife ask him a question so he can start to think about what's really going on in his life because he has no idea.

[chuff]

The Blue Chip? lol Of all the casinos around here the only one I have ever been in was in Biloxi, Mississippi.

I think so. It was on a barge that as God is my witness I had no idea was a barge. We had to wait in line and they let people on like every hour. I asked why we had to wait, thinking is was a fire code and he said that's when the barge will let you on. I was so young and stupid, I asked, "wait, this is one of those casino boats? When will it come back to port?" Then he explained that it was just a barge on a man made lake to because in Indiana all casino's had to be on water.

[MarkwithaK]

Again I understand what you are saying and I am in no way trying to argue. I am speaking from experience as far as trying to open up the eyes of an addict. My uncle is as hardcore alcoholic as you can get and one of my oldest friends has been hooked on more drugs than I care to count. This being said they knew exactly what their actions had on their respective families and it served no inspiration to stop. And I wasn't suggesting that his kids beg him either, I used that strictly as an example.

Side note: Yes in Indiana the casinos have to be on water. They used to "set sail" for 4 hours at a pop but not sure if that is still the case.

[talaniman]

The first thing you need to know about any addict, is protect yourself by any means necessary. Lock them out, or leave them.