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lost12confused · Jan 1, 2009, 01:54 PM

Honestly I can't tell you what has happened. I tried to help a friend and hung out for a bit. I was pure but he wanted to take it. So we hung out and he tried and tried and I kept yelling and telling him to take me back. Well he halfway went in (which is a good thing) and then stopped. I was crying and saying no. So I can't say much. It just happened so fast to me. But I tried to ignore. And I won't tell anyone. Im pretending everything is normal. But then I've been getting sick. And I know I'm just being dumb because its way to early for symptoms. But I've been getting massive headaches and I'm always wanting to sleep. My favorite food just don't interest me anymore. My back has been hurting and my period wasn't much of one. It just lasted a day or two and was very light. Im slowly gaining a few pounds but maybe that's normal. My chest has been killing me with pains and I'm always nauseated now. Its been about a month since this has happened. He says there is no way for it to be possible. Ive taken some tests but they show up negative. And I want to believe it but a part of me still says its wrong. What do you think ? Do you think I'm just overreacting ? I didn't ask for this. And I didn't want to do what I did. I just want it in my past. Please someone help me ? I don't know where to turn.

Alty · Jan 1, 2009, 02:01 PM

If you said no then it's rape, plain and simple. Could you be pregnant, yes, you could, but we can't give you a diagnosis over the internet. It's time to go to your doctor, get a blood test done just to be sure and put your mind at ease.

As for the guy, run, don't walk, as fast as you can. He raped you, you didn't imagine it, you aren't overreacting, it's rape!

I know that you probably think you're alone in this, and you're probably afraid to tell anyone, but you're not alone and you have to tell. He did it once, he'll do it again.

You need help dealing with this. Can you talk to your parents, an adult family member or friend, priest, teacher, someone? You shouldn't try dealing with this on your own.

We're here if you need us, but finding someone to talk to in person is a good idea.

Good luck.

lost12confused · Jan 1, 2009, 02:06 PM

Well thank you. I don't know who I can tell. My parents would let all loose. I would loose it all with them. I just turned 18 not long ago. Ive never imagined anything like this. I just graduated from high school. I graduated early. About to accept a scholarship to my number one college. If I go to a doctor my parents will find out. Ive used the home ones and they show negative. But for some reason I don't trust them. Maybe its in my head ? Maybe I'm just sick ?

ja77 · Jan 1, 2009, 02:17 PM

What has happened to you is not correct and not right, you state in your own post that you said NO ! that means that what this guy did is not correct. He has assaulted you.

You really do need to report him.

You are not just at risk of having a baby but there are also STI's that you need to think about to.

What has happened is not your fault and you can in no way blame yourself, your parents will be hurt and upset with what's happened but will also stand by you.

Please do seek proper help and get yourself checked over by a doctor and have screaning.

Alty · Jan 1, 2009, 02:18 PM

It could be that you're just stressing yourself out and that's why you're having symptoms. You said you had a period but that it wasn't normal, well, that happens to all of us at one time or another.

You could wait until your next period is due, if you miss that one then re-test with an hpt using first morning urine.

We're here if you need us. :)

bigc · Jan 1, 2009, 02:18 PM

Your story is not that clear, but it sounds to me like he stopted after you said no, which is not rape, if he didn't stop after you said no, then its rape. You could be pregnant, or maby its you mind, civing you all these syntoms, because you are scared that you might be pregnant, the mind is verry powerful. My advice take it one day at a time, don't rush to conclusions, and no matter what happens, you will get thrue it, with or without help, because you are strong, and you must believe that. This is a quote I came across, that I use whenever things are bad, feel free to apply it to your situation "this too shall pass"

DoulaLC · Jan 1, 2009, 04:02 PM

I think the timing is what bigc might be eluding to.

Were they fooling around and then when it got to that point did she change her mind? (which she has every right to). Did she say "no" while they were sitting on the couch and he started to get a bit frisky, or did she say "no" when things started to get to where some clothes were now off and things were heating up ? If it were something similar to the second scenerio, then perhaps he did stop halfway when she started saying "no".

To the op, it is unlikely you are pregnant, but certainly possible. Odds are the worry of the situation has caused your cycle to be off. Since you are 18, your parents would not need to know if you went to the doctors, but if you aren't comfortable with that, maybe planned parenthood, the health department, or a pregnancy center would be other options for you. If none of those are things you want to do, see what happens with your next period and see if you need to test again at that time.

jennifer1010 · Jan 1, 2009, 04:20 PM

When someone says no to sex, that means no.
He raped you and I honestly think you should report him. He put you at risk of having a baby and getting STI's. It's not likely that you're pregnant but you're def. not overreacting. You should go to your doctor, or plan parenthood if you need anything. And for support we're all here for you!

lost12confused · Jan 1, 2009, 10:12 PM

Well thank you all for these comments. It does mean a lot to me. I don't believe I am. At least I hope not. He did stop so that's a way of looking at it. It might have taken longer than it should have but he did. But thank you all. At this point it does have me worried some but ill get through this and I'm going to wait a little while longer and if everything keeps going at this rate ill go get a blood test and all that stuff. But right now I figured id give it some more time which I'm finding out is probably the hardest thing..

ja77 · Jan 2, 2009, 10:54 AM

Lost I understand that you are all over the place right now, but please do reach out to someone close that you can trust because this is not right and what this guy did to you is wrong and you can not take the blame on yourself for this.

I really do think you need to talk to your parents and as I have said in my other post to you that you need to report this.

If nothing was wrong and all was OK you would not be feeling the way you do right now.

lost12confused · Jan 2, 2009, 05:57 PM

OK so I believe I'm sick. Maybe a migrane ? My mom says. How do you know if it's a migrane. Ive slept almost a whole day I would say. I have the worst headache that I believe I've ever had, I've been throwing up, I'm nauseated, I keep getting really dizzy, my chest has been killing me, and my back hurts. Is it a migrane ?

Nestorian · Jan 2, 2009, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by lost12confused

ok so i believe im sick. Maybe a migrane ? my mom says. How do u know if its a migrane. Ive slept almost a whole day i would say. I have the worst headache that i believe ive ever had, ive been throwing up, im nauseated, i keep gettin really dizzy, my chest has been killing me, and my back hurts. Is it a migrane ?

We can tell you theories, and advise you on how we thing to best deal with the situation; but we can not tell you 100% anything. So what I mean is take it easy, if you have bin sick for more than a week go talk to the doctor so they can see if they can help you. I'd highly recommend you go talk to a counseler. They can't fix your problem, with the whole "maybe rape" thing. Yes things may get sierious, but it sounds like the other person needs to know it is sierious.

Also, counselers are like advisers, who know how the system work, and can give you the tools to deal with things. They do not fix your situation, only you can do that.

Ok, so the whole idea that the brain is a powerful thing, that is totally true. I had a friend who "Thought" she was pregnant, but she was just so paranoid that her body started to react to it and prep her for the baby that just wasn't there. At any rate she ended up having to just go talk to a doc and found out she was gearing up for it, but she wasn't pregnant. You do sound like you have a lot of the signs, but some of that can also be due to stress. Mostly your headaches, muscle pains (especaily tense and sore), even gaining wieght, change in eating habbits, sleep, energy, mood, and various other things. So do try to either go to a Doctor, or relax and go out and do something you enjoy. AND NOT DRUGS, especailly DRINKING for the love of GOD. (not that you do that, but just making it clear that that is the worst thing to do.)

Out of curiosity, the night that guy got on you were you drinking?? Its just that alcohol is the #1 date rape drug. Mostly because people willingly accept drinks, but then they start to do things they normally wouldn't. That is because their brains have started to fail. Just something to be aware of.

Sorry I went way off there, but it may help you to keep safer next time. :)

Peace be with you.

lost12confused · Jan 2, 2009, 09:32 PM

Ha thanks for the advice. Im trying. And no I'm known as the good girl. I don't do any drugs or alcohol. I was trying to help him cause he said he needed to talk. I did cuss at him when I got mad but Ha he didn't listen. Im just trying to put this in my past as much as I can.

DoulaLC · Jan 3, 2009, 05:43 AM

Since you are feeling unwell, and have been for awhile, see your doctor. They often will run a pregnancy test as a matter of course if you mention that your period was off and you are having some of the symptoms that you are... so you don't need to mention you are going in with concerns of a possible pregnancy, just that you aren't feeling well.

You could very well have something else going on, considering the chest pain, severe headache and such... in fact the off period may be a symptom from your body being ill... one way or the other, knowing will give you the peace of mind you seek. Go in and find out what is going on, then you won't have to wonder about it anymore.