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Confused65 · Dec 30, 2008, 01:41 AM

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. The first 9 months were great, Unitl last christmas when I found out he was talking to another girl he knew from a long time ago and she was aking him if he was seeing anyone and he said no he was single and that they should hook up sometime! (which he says is his way of saying lets hang out) Right? Im not that stupid. Anyway this really upset me being wehad been together for 9 months.. and ever since then I have lost all my trust for him. We made up that night and I "got over it" and he said it wouldn't happen again. So here we are over a year later and maybe 8 or 9 girls later we are still having problems.. Not all of the times were like the first, some were worst and some were not. Now I know I have heard plenty of times why are you still with him.. Im not looking for someone to tell me I'm stupid for being with him. The truth is he still makes me happy. He is my first true love and first for a lot of other things. And I really do love him and want to be in a "HAPPY" relationship with him. SO what I'm asking is am I over reacting to his Harmless "flirting". I know he really is a big flirt which doesn't bother me I told him its not the girls he talking to its what he is saying to them. I know he has never cheated on me being that he lived with me and had no car because of an accident and so I was always picking him up and dropping him off at work and with him where ever he went I was with him. Im just saying should I cut him some slack or what?

expat2009 · Dec 30, 2008, 02:21 AM

I understand you are in love but that doesn't mean he should walk over you. Or should he?

No, he should not be flirting with other girls! And you said 8 or 9 girls what does that mean... he's flirted with all of them? --and that is the ones you know of-- . Im sorry honey but he is playing with you and you deserve MUCH better than him. Why should he be your one and only and he has other chicks he flirts with?

A healthy relationship is about mutual trust and love. Your relationship seems very unfair from what you are saying.

If you have heard the same thing over and over "why are you still with him?" from people that know and love you why don't you listen to them? Deep down, you know it's true. It's no longer about how much you love him, it's about how much he loves YOU and respects YOU. If he is hurting your feelings, and even though you've called him up on it he still does it, doesn't it tell you something about the kind of person he is? Wouldn't you prefer to be with someone who loves you and respects you as much as you do? Someone that will never flirt with anyone else because he has only have eyes for you.

In short, this from someone who doesn't know you or him, or your relationship. NO! Do not cut him ANY slack. He is not worthy of your love. The decision is up to you. Open your eyes and lookout for yourself. You deserve better and there is.

zeeniee · Dec 30, 2008, 03:40 AM

I agree with expat 2009- leave him and find yourself, be happy and strong and soon you will find a nicer person and then think who the hell did he think he was! Thank god he is gone!

ThatGuy2 · Dec 30, 2008, 04:27 AM

Have you communicated your feelings with him? Make sure he knows how you feel and don't hide it from him. If his flirting makes you uncomfortable, he needs to know.

talaniman · Dec 30, 2008, 09:02 AM

Just because he is your first in many ways, doesn't mean he will be your last, and it definitely doesn't mean he gets to disrespect you at all. He does it because you forgive his bad behavior, and always take him back.

I know how hard it is to break a strong emotional attachment, but you would do well to learn how, for your own personal health.

My answer is NO, he deserves no more slack. 8/9 times, is 9 times to many.

jjwoodhull · Dec 30, 2008, 09:06 AM

You have let this go on for a year. That is one year of your life that you will never get back. He is disrespectful. This is not how you treat someone you love. Move on and don't look back. There is someone better out there.

PurpLePassion · Dec 30, 2008, 10:19 AM

You need to let him go, if he hasn't already cheated on you he probably will. Doesn't seem trustworthy. I know it's going to be hard to let go since he was your first love and all... but it's better that you end it now & MAYBE end up as friends... as opposed to having your relationship end in a messy way because he cheated on you and broke your heart.