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ayazmine · Dec 28, 2008, 08:03 AM

How do I get my husband to fall in love with me again?

kctiger · Dec 28, 2008, 08:10 AM

What gives you the impression he isn't in love with you anymore?

ayazmine · Dec 28, 2008, 08:19 AM

He doesn't look at me, talk to me, or even interact with me the same. Granted a lot has happened in our relationship but I want my husband back. The man I married

kctiger · Dec 28, 2008, 08:21 AM

Have you talked to him about this? It has been my experience (what little I have) that the detriment to any relationship is absolute lack of communication...

ayazmine · Dec 28, 2008, 08:23 AM

Yes I have. A lot of the time the questions are avoided or laughed off as if I am being ridiculous.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2008, 08:47 AM

How old are you and how long have you been married? Also what's going on in this marriage? Just need a lot more info here.

ayazmine · Dec 28, 2008, 12:13 PM

I am 27 years old and I have been married 5 years. 2 kids some infedelity and sneakiness has taken place.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2008, 05:06 PM

By him, or you?? Sorry for the questions but info helps make for a clear picture as to where you are at.

ayazmine · Dec 28, 2008, 05:54 PM

Infedelity by him

411Help · Dec 28, 2008, 05:58 PM

infedelity by him

Ouch, I'm sorry. There is where you made your mistake. You allowed him back into your life after he committed adultery.

A lot of the time the questions are avoided or laughed off as if I am being ridiculous.

Is this a man or a boy you're married too? If he's not mature enough to have a civilized discussion about the problems that are occurring within your marriage, then he's not worth it.

How do I get my husband to fall in love with me again?

You can't "make" someone fall in love with you. Period. If you are currently behaving the way you've been throughout the duration of your relationship. Then there shouldn't be a problem.

jjwoodhull · Dec 28, 2008, 06:03 PM

If you think that he might cheat again, then I would recommend you move on. However, you asked for help in staying together.

The best thing you could do is try couples counseling. Even if he won't go, go without him.

Also, take him on a date. Recreate something memorable you did before you were married. Maybe you will both remember why you first fell in love.

ayazmine · Dec 28, 2008, 06:25 PM

Thank you. I wiil start there. We have been together since we were 13 so I have do something to shocking and spontaneous

jjwoodhull · Dec 28, 2008, 07:29 PM

Wow - you've been with him more than half your life! Good luck and keep us posted.

Ash123 · Dec 28, 2008, 08:31 PM

I have seen this OVER and OVER.

Long term couple. Married too young. Man (or woman) takes it for granted and looks for intimacy elsewhere. The only way to deal with it is to treat it as if it is GROUND ZERO. I have seen men cheat and their wives take them back, but they never DEAL with the problem at it's root. And it ends eventually. No need to drag it out without constant communication... No need to suffer! Speak your mind at all times on this matter. No need to take cheap shots, but no need to be silent if feeling a need to take action and to speak your mind - in bed (what makes you hot) or in life (what makes you happy!)

You must:

1. go to counseling NOW - no questions asked
2. he must take it seriously or you will leave him (let him know this)
3. this does not need to be a secret. You do not need to protect him. Make it clear that you are not his mother and protector, but his wife. And he better step up. Or he's going to lose you very soon.

The couples that survive are the ones that start their life from scratch and find intimacy can grow after a major communication gap is closed by a hard slap of realityhits.

The ones that need to move on are when one is working a lot harder than the other for too long.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2008, 09:27 PM

No communications= no marriage.

I don't know when things changed, but they have, and some time away from him, may give HIM some time to think about his actions, and the way they affect you.

Even if it doesn't, some peace to think about what your actions are going to be, will help YOU.

Couples counseling will help you both, and even without him, I would recommend it for you.

Your love hasn't gone anywhere, he has just buried it under a lot of BS, and needs to uncover it. But that's his call, not yours.

ayazmine · Dec 29, 2008, 06:19 AM

Thanks for all the comments. I think we should take a break and allow ourselves to look at what we really want. You are only going to get 80 percent of what you need in a relationship. With that being said why should I stay with someone that is overlooking 80 to go find 20. I say let him have his 20 and see how that works for him.

Ash123 · Dec 30, 2008, 09:56 AM

Yes. Likely, the only way for adult reality check and your sanity to remain