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TXRocker · Dec 26, 2008, 02:28 PM

Okay... I'm stuck in a delima right now and really not sure what to do. I've been reading the topics on this forum for a while now and now I'll ask...

I was married for about 2 years. The marriage ended in 2002 and we went our separate ways of course. Of course, we both found other people... I was in a great relationship for the better part of 5 years. That relationship unfortunately came to an end during the summer months and I've since moved on... now to the problem...

My ex wife started communicating with me again recently. I've tried to be her friend, but after the things that contributed to our marriage failing, I was hesitant to even get involved at all. So, we've been kind of talking through email for about a month now and this afternoon I get this awkward email from her... I was shocked to say the least, but she proceeded to tell me that she was still deeply in love with me and she made a huge mistake by doing what her family wanted her to do, instead of standing by her husband like she should have.

Don't get me wrong, I'm WAY over this. I moved on within the first month of leaving and getting the divorce... She believes that there is some hope, but two, she just got out of her 6 year long relationship about two weeks ago. My guts are telling me to stay away from this because there's obviously a reason it didn't work out before... so why take the chance now... I'm trying to be her friend, but at the same time I don't want to lead her on in any way at all... So... should I tell her that the chance has passed and there's not going to be another chance? Or... should I take the chance and start to take things slow to see where it goes? My gut is telling me to approach with extreme caution...

confessions21 · Dec 26, 2008, 02:34 PM

You seem like your well over her and just want to be friends so just tell her how you feel cause leading her on is only going to make things worse in a long run, and if she can't get the picture then maybe you should communicate with her no more. Remember you delt with it once and it didn't work why risk being unhappy again.

ja77 · Dec 26, 2008, 02:34 PM

I think you are right if anything is too come of this then it needs to be very slow... It would also not be a good idea to jump straight back into a relationship with her right now, if she has only just broken up with her partner I'm guessing she is going to be all over the place and not in a fit state to be seeing you as a partner.

When we break up like you said there is always a root that brought it about.

You need to be honest with yourself too and think with a clear head what you really wany.

N0help4u · Dec 26, 2008, 02:36 PM

Stay in the relationship you are in. She was happy without you for the past 6. Now it is convenient for her to think of the good memories with you and want you back. She most likely isn't thinking about how it didn't work before and the likelihood that it won't this time. So don't let her be a home wrecker. Back off communicating with her if you have to.

talaniman · Dec 26, 2008, 03:29 PM

Do what you have been doing, and maybe talk to her less, as your friendship is better as it is, than going back and trying again. Since you have a life without her, why change now? She will get over it.

Justwantfair · Dec 26, 2008, 03:40 PM

I would be honest with her. I still love my son's father and we have been apart for 12 years. We tried to make our relationship work again after an extremely long break up and for a short period we did make it work... but some things never change between two people.

I think now we both silently acknowledge that we will always love each other in some way, but just because you love someone doesn't mean that you are meant to be with that person. So be honest tell her how you feel and that you don't want to try again. She has moved on and she maybe reminiscing about the relationship but if you are upfront she will continue on with her own life.

sully123 · Dec 26, 2008, 03:56 PM

Quick question, are you questioning it because you still care about or, or are you still in love with her. She is just getting out of a relatinship and she is feeling lonely.. I would be her friend right now, but that is as far as I would go. You just don't know at this point, she could honestly feel she made a mistake, by marrying someone else.. it does happen.. But I would just proceed with caution.

TXRocker · Dec 26, 2008, 05:56 PM

I'm not in love with her at all... She broke my trust in some of the worst ways. During our marriage, she chose her parents and the rest of her family over her husband... so, no I don't love her. I have no resentment though, even though it might sound like it.

I'm 99% sure that I'm not going to proceed into trying to repair a marriage that has been broken apart for almost seven years... it's not worth what we both may have to put into it in order for it to just work.

On top of that, I've got my ex of 5 years trying to ease her way back into my life... which I still have deep feelings for her, even after six months of being apart and 4 months of strict no contact except for personal business and family emergencies...