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concernedteen16 · Dec 24, 2008, 10:37 AM

Ok so my dad just got remarried for the 3rd time in May. My step mom was cool for a while but as soon as they got married, she went on a power trip! I am 16 and she is 30, 14 years older than me and she thinks she has 100% control over me. I don't even live with my dad and the only time she steps in my life, is when I am in trouble. She is a b*&%$. She is ruining my christmas this year. She is being selfish and not letting my dad do his thing. Can someone tell me how to deal with a lady who is controlling like her?

artlady · Dec 24, 2008, 10:48 AM

You need to tell her how you feel... minus the &*^% thing.

No relationship ever grows if two people aren't willing to speak their mind from the heart.You have legitimate feelings and I would tell her *I feel* and proceed to explain how you feel.She would be foolish to deny your feelings.
Your feelings have validity and you may also want to speak to your Dad about your concerns.
Open honest communication is the key ,it will prove to them that you are mature enough to carry on an important adult conversation and maybe she will begin to see there are better ways to communicate with you than to try to boss you around.

AManWithNoName · Dec 25, 2008, 10:32 PM

, me, I'm a bad person, I'd be the who would tell my step mom to go to , and that she's not my real mom, so I don't have to listen to her, try that(not really, but go ahead if you want)

Wondergirl · Dec 25, 2008, 11:10 PM

Do you want to appear to be grown up or act like a little immature out-of-control kid? If you want to be the second one, then be a bad person and tell your stepmom to go to hell since she's not your real mom and you don't have to listen to her. If you want to act like an adult, talk nice to her and even ask her advice about something--OR, if you really want to make points AND a connection (a connection will help you become her equal), ask her about when she was your age, like, what were things like--popular songs and movies, who the big stars were, what hair styles and clothes fashions were like, has anything changed for the positive or negative for women... stuff like that. (Secret Hint From Me: She is about 14 years older than you, as you said, and so she was born in 1978 or so and was 16 in 1994 or so. Google a bit for that year and what was going on. Here's one site -- 1994 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Get some secret information and quiz her if she remembers certain stars or things that happened that year. She will be flattered you are asking.)

And LISTEN to her and ask questions!! This is very important! Life with her and your dad will go a lot smoother if you and she make a connection. This could be the smartest and most clever thing you ever do in your life. If you are successful (and we know you are a smart young woman!), you will have a valuable tool in being able to connect with people always! People will want to know you and to be with you because you will exude confidence and social savvy.

AManWithNoName · Dec 26, 2008, 10:38 PM

It never hurts to be a bad person sometimes, she didn't get a choice in the matter, and if her step mom is being controlling, well is say f her, would you rather seem like you can be taking advantage of, or some one who doesn't want any thing to do with her, huh, be a rebel, never hurts, she forced her self into your life, and now she wants you to "kiss her boot", be the bad person, tell her to kiss your @$$, but if your dad wants you to do something, listen to him, you came from him, not her, she's just the replacement, that's why I hate devorce, why marry some one, if your going to end up dumping them, huh, that's bs, it puts every one in a bad position, espesually the kid, its bs bs bs

Wondergirl · Dec 26, 2008, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

It never hurts to be a bad person sometimes, she didn't get a choice in the matter, and if her step mom is being controlling, well is say f her, would you rather seem like you can be takin advantage of, or some one who doesn't want any thing to do with her, huh, be a rebel, never hurts, she forced her self into your life, and now she wants you to "kiss her boot", be the bad person, tell her to kiss your @$$, but if your dad wants you to do something, listen to him, you came from him, not her, she's just the replacement, that's why I hate devorce, why marry some one, if your gonna end up dumping them, huh, that's bs, it puts every one in a bad position, espesually the kid, its bs bs bs

I think you need a hug.

AManWithNoName · Dec 26, 2008, 11:10 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I think you need a hug.

A hug, maybe I do, but do you know what I need more, a djirum black, I don't understand why anyone would get married, have a kid, and then just end it all, the mom allways gets full custidy, the mom allways ends it, and the dad the just sits there, dumbfounded, he lost his kids, he lost half his stuff, and he lost someone he once loved, I, personaly, have never dealt with divorce, but my girlfriend is, right now, her parents are getting devorced, she's 14(yes, I'm dating a freshman, get over it) why would anyone do that?

Hamselv007 · Dec 26, 2008, 11:24 PM

Originally Posted by concernedteen16

Ok so my dad just got remarried for the 3rd time in May. My step mom was cool for a while but as soon as they got married, she went on a power trip! I am 16 and she is 30, 14 years older than me and she thinks she has 100% control over me. I dont even live with my dad and the only time she steps in my life, is when i am in trouble. She is a b*&%$. She is ruining my christmas this year. She is being selfish and not letting my dad do his thing. Can someone tell me how to deal with a lady who is controlling like her??

Only time she step's into your life when you are in trouble ?

I think the answer is pretty clear mate.

Wondergirl · Dec 26, 2008, 11:24 PM

Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

A hug, maybe I do, but do you know what I need more, a djirum black, I don't understand why anyone would get married, have a kid, and then just end it all, the mom allways gets full custidy, the mom allways ends it, and the dad the just sits there, dumbfounded, he lost his kids, he lost half his stuff, and he lost someone he once loved, I, personaly, have never dealt with divorce, but my gf is, right now, her parents are getting devorced, she's 14(yes, I'm dating a freshman, get over it) why would anyone do that?

You (of all people) don't understand the unhappiness or disapproval or even hate people develop for each other?

Your comment to me, "get over it," is a hateful thing, a put-down.

Btw, it's Djarum Black.

AManWithNoName · Dec 26, 2008, 11:36 PM

Originally Posted by Hamselv007

Only time she step's into your life when you are in trouble ?

I think the answer is pretty clear mate.

That doesn't answere her question "mate"
What if some one, you don't know, maried your dad, and tried to replace your mom, huh, think before you say something stupid!

Hamselv007 · Dec 26, 2008, 11:41 PM

Dude go play with your zit's mr. terminater

AManWithNoName · Dec 26, 2008, 11:50 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You (of all people) don't understand the unhappiness or disapproval or even hate people develop for each other?

Your comment to me, "get over it," is a hateful thing, a put-down.

Btw, it's Djarum Black.

My coment to you? What makes you assume its to you, I'm just saying, some people don't like it that I'm dating a younger girl, my friends say I have a habbit of "corupting" people, funny? I think so
What do you mean me of a ll people should understand disapproval, hate, yadda yadda stuff?

Hamselv007 · Dec 26, 2008, 11:54 PM

Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

My coment to you? What makes you assume its to you, I'm just sayin, some people don't like it that I'm dating a younger girl, my freinds say I have a habbit of "corupting" people, funny? I think so
What do you mean me of a ll people should understand disaproval, hate, yadda yadda stuff?

Well for one thing it was a reply to her thread.
Secondly. She was the only other speaking to you.

AManWithNoName · Dec 27, 2008, 12:11 AM

Originally Posted by Hamselv007

dude go play with your zit's mr. terminater

What on gods green earth does that mean, "mr.terminator"?
Howd you know I love that movie

barbiechick123 · Jan 3, 2009, 12:08 AM

1) Amanwithnoname, just because someone marries a persons parent doesn't mean their trying to be a replacement of the other one... how old are you, 6?

2) to the OP, maybe this is in your head, I know how you feel... I have been through it, maybe your step mom loves you and is not used to having a "daughter" figure around so she doesn't quite know how to handle it... try being her friend, ask her what it was like being your age, do things together... she'll start acting cooler.

ZoeMarie · Jan 3, 2009, 12:20 AM

Oh boy, I've had to deal with a b!tch of a stepmom before. Those were the worst years of my life. My dad has now been married 4 times. It was the 3rd wife that I'm referring to. The day she left was the happiest day of my life. The best advice I can give you is start talking to a counselor. That's what I did. Eventually our whole family was going to talk to our pastor and he determined she needed more serious help. That's when she left. Trust me, talking to someone on the outside helps a lot

laboone · Jan 12, 2012, 11:31 AM

If you still are available... how are things now between you and your stepmother>