[annedear]

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now. Our relationship has been mostly long distance so it's had it's strain in the past. Part of the problem is my parents. They don't approve of our relationship and are very disappointed in me because of it. It hurts that they can't be proud of me anymore. We've kind of reached an impasse where no one mentions anything about it. I've been away at school so it hasn't been an issue. However, I went home for winter break. Lately my girlfriend has seemed distant and I know my relationship with my parents bothers her. She doesn't like how they treat me but she doesn't want to be the thing that gets between us. She's been bringing up the fact that she has doubts about our relationship more and more. We went through a period where she was asking if we were right for each other, or if the timing was right for us. She suggested that we take a break while I'm home for the holidays. She said we don't have to date anybody else, just that we shouldn't talk. No calling or even emailing. She says it's because it will be easier, I won't have to worry about conflict with my parents. I don't know if I should believe her or if this is just her way of getting distance between us so that she can break up with me. Any insights or advice?

[NItEMArE129]

You know your girlfriend better than we do, so can you tell me this? Does she usually blame other people for issues, or does she usually blame herself? Is she straight-forward or does she beat around the bush? Does she sometimes show interest in other guys or is she completely devoted to you?

[annedear]

She tends to blame herself. When we argue she always makes sure not to be accusing, but instead takes the blame on herself. She is completely honest with me, all the time, even when it hurts. She tried to protect me from bad news but she can never hold out for very long. She says she feels guilty because it feel like lying when she keeps things. Lastly, fidelity has never been a problem in our relationship. She's always been completely devoted to me and I've never had any reason to doubt her. We have a wonderful relationship, except when it comes to my parents.

[NItEMArE129]

Then chances are she's, once again, putting guilt onto herself for your relationship with your parents. I know how you feel, my girlfriend is the same and we've been through this situation before. Let her know that it's not her fault and that you don't want to break up and keep letting her know. You might need to have it out with your parents too. They're interfering in your relationship and obviously your happiness. Any parents that don't care about your happiness don't deserve to call themselves your parents, so talk to them about this. Unfortunately, they're contributing hugely to this issue and need to be dealt with accordingly.