[cmarie]

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now. We are very much in love and we were planning on having me move across the country for her. The problem is that thinking about moving has me thinking about what our relationship is based on. My family is perfectly okay with our relationship, they love her. However, her parents don't approve. They didn't know about us until six months into the relationship. They are originally from China and don't accept anything beyond the traditional values and way of life. They expect complete obedience from her and even though she says that if it comes down to it she'll pick me, I feel like she's holding back because of them. Right now her parents know about us but they don't know how far our relationship has progressed. I understand that it's hard for her to break away from them but I'm afraid that this will be the trend for our future. I love her but I need more of a commitment from her. But I don't feel like I have the right to ask that of her. I don't know what to do. Help?

[N0help4u]

That is a tough one because she is from a different culture and they don't just get over something like this as easily as American parents.
I would say move close and get to know her better but then that most likely would mean sneaking behind her parents back more.
If there is anyway that they could get to know you better before you get an deeper into anything that might be good. But again different culture and values. They most likely would see it as more than just friends even if that was all it was.

But if it is really true love it would be really hard to walk away and always wonder.
In a way I would say just go for it she is in America now and most likely will not follow her parents traditions anyway.
As an adult (assuming she is) she should to pursue what would make her happiest.
Hopefully if you do get together her parents will come around to accepting you.

[NItEMArE129]

I'm chinese and my parents are so much more lenient than the traditional Chinese culture. Bear in mind that a lot of Chinese girls are very timid, though I doubt you haven't noticed this lol. If she's not like that, what you see is what you get most of the of the time. If she IS timid though, she won't always let you know how she feels. And parents will hold on to their kids in my culture, true, but if they break away responsibly, they're usually OK with it. Don't piss them off, and be respectful of different traditions. Do that, and it should work out. Your relationship with her, however, is different than your relationship with her parents.