[fairydust86]

My boyfriend of fourteen months , told me that its all too much and he didn't think he wanted a relationship anymore? He says he still loves me , and last week we were fine. :mad: everything was fine except we hadn't seen each other for two weeks . I really want him back, I love him so much. I had had the best time of my life with and he was saying the same when we were together. I dropping a letter off to him tomorrow just to say a few things I have to say the leaving( its been recommended as a way of getting him back , what do you think) and the thing is I will probably be at university down the road from him too! Everything was fantastic with us , help me. What do I do

[dancingtwins]

Sorry to say that there isn't anything you can do. The more you try to get him the farther away you are pushing him... A friend once told me He who cares the least. I have learned the hard way that it is true. I was in a similar situation and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get him back all I kept doing was hurting myself. The old saying goes if you love someone let them go and if they come back to you it was meant to me. Get on with you life and don't live with the what if's. Enjoy yourself you might find out that you are happier without him.:p :)

[fairydust86]

I just need a proper reason and it to be face to face . My ex boyfriend from before read his messges reckons he all confused on what he wants .

[Blazingsun]

You both need time apart.

Fill your time with other things instead of obsessing over each other.

Sounds like you both need a breather... and that you are getting a little overly nuts about this guy. It's sweet and all you are so totally in love, but get a grip.

No one is worth -existing- for. Splash some cold water on your face and have some confidence and trust in the relationship to give it time to breathe a bit without hanging off each other.

[fairydust86]

I think some of it is to do with his car , he loves it a bit too much. Lol .:rolleyes: he said he didn't have the time I deserve he goes to car meets you see . But when I rang him after he sounded a bit down but said he did want to see me etc and he loved I'm just confused . I need answers . He said it maybe not forever . I'm trying to give him spae but its hard

[talaniman]

How can you love a guy that loves his car more than you?:cool: :confused:

[fairydust86]

It wasn't always like that. He always says he doesn't . That its his only hobby though I want to give him space but at the same time he's my best friend, my girlfriends are all loved up , or one night stand kind of people

[Wildcat21]

Trust me - NO LETTER. PLEASE!! FOR TH LOVE OF GOD. Just save it for now. It will push him away.

I've been there - CUT OFF ALL CONTACT FOR 3 MONTHS. MAKE HIM MISS YOU. Give him space to sort out his feelings.

Sounds ALSO like YOU put WAY too much importance into this.

People want what they can't have. He has you.

You have to do no contact - it's the only way if he comesback.

He needs to realize what he gave up.

[Blazingsun]

Go Wildcat!

[fairydust86]

I think you could be right , I will probably be by his house in a month. For a university interview so I at least want to get the friendship he says we have on track to avoid awkwardness if we saw each other. Which I'm sure we would the university id up the road. I'm just terrified he will find some one else I know this would mean that he's not worth it but it still scares me. I mean he used yo tell me he wanted to be with me forever etc

[Fr_Chuck]

I have some mixed vibes, your girlfriends you mention were all "one night stand" type of people, I often say a person is judged by others anyway, with the type of people they run around with and are friends with. May not be true, but if a person is in a long term type serious relationship, then they progress their "party" friends and find thierselfs changing. If they don't, they are still paty people who are merely doing a lot of party with the same person.

You need to look at, how did you meet, what was he like when you meet him, honestly, ( have a close friend answer the same question)_ has he changed since you meet, and if so how.

And in the end, he may not want to give you an aswer and does not have to, you have to deal with the loss and not try to control it. If he misses you and wants to come back to you, he will. You may try and leave an open door ( for a short period) but if not, you need to move on.

Next where did you want the relationship to go, where you working on that, did you talk to him about it.

I would say if you don't have a clue, the answer is just that, you were not talking about how anyone felt on all sorts of issues.

[fairydust86]

I don't think he had really changed until I passed my driving test , I suppose it got a bit samey he came to mine all the time . We were getting closer and closer emotionally and still physically . I'm so confused as last week we were "cool" I mean he says I did nothing wrong

[talaniman]

i dont think he had really changed until i passed my driving test , i suppose it got a bit samey he came to mine all the time . we were getting closer and closer emotionally and still physically . i'm so confused as last week we were "cool" i mean he says i did nothing wrong

YOU were getting closer physically and emotionaly. Slow down and concentrate on you and leave him and his car alone. If you were on the same page you'd be together and not confused. Do something besides thinking about HIM and why he's not there.

[Wildcat21]

Yes... pull back - no contact. That's the only way.

NO Begging

NO PLEADING

IF you were cool recently. He may just come back after a little space is given.

I am wondeirng if you smothered him - too mcuh contact?? Too needy??

PLEASE JUST LEAVE HIM BE - it's the only way.

[Skell]

Please please please listen to wildcat.

He knows what he is talking about here.

I made these mistakes and have lost my love of 7 years.

It is hard to see the sense in it I know but it is right.

You will only push him away forever now if you chase him.

NO CONTACT AT ALL! NONE!!

[Skell]

Go out and exercise. Joint a gym, run, do anything you can to take your mind of him.
Improve yourself. Further education, learn a new language. Anything. You will meet people this way too.

But for the love of god do not beg or plead to this person.

Personal experience here!!

[JoeCanada76]

Stay away, I agree with all of the advice given. There is something not right here and if you go back right now you will just end up getting hurt more. You deserve better. Focus on many other things instead. As Skell said, join a gym or take an educational course. Do something for yourself right now.

Joe

[tirednhurt86]

Hey,

My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me almost 3 months ago... I could not let go... I cried every night and I still miss him... trust me- do not try and beg him please! ( I did and I regret it) I recommend a book called its called a breakup because its broken by Greg Behrendt,Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt- it helped me a lot- u can message me as well. Trust me it is hard and I still cannot move on or let go, but you need your friends right now, and you need to get out of the house- let him be- if its meant to be it will be... trust me- I know the pain! Also do not try and be friends its often too hard. Maybe in time but not so soon.

[Chery]

i just need a proper reason and it to be face to face . my ex bf from before read his messges reckons he all confused on what he wants .

Honey, sorry, but what you think you need, and what you will get may be two different things. Life is never fair when it comes to relationships. You don't just meet someone, have the 'greatest time you ever had in your life' and then everything will be roses - NOPE!

You might need a face to face to reassure you that you did nothing wrong - but even if he told you that, you'd still not believe it because you don't understand why he broke with you. No amount of talking will help you understand this - because he does not understand it either. He is just being a normal young man who is not ready or willing to commit himself for a lifetime with you - accept that.

As far as the best time in your life - does that mean your life - young life - is over now? Come on, we all go through many relationships and stages in our lives until we are advanced in our experience enough to know exactly what we are looking for in a partner for life. These years help mold you to the person you'll eventually be - it's not over yet and you still have a lot of experience to collect.

The pain of loving and being rejected is part of this learning process - it's all part of the plan to make us stronger and able to face other things coming our way. So, if you give up now and pine away for something lost, you'll never know what possibilities are out there for you.

Discover yourself, and you'll discover a whole new world out there. Hope your healing process does not take too long.

Good luck.

[Blazingsun]

When I was hmm.. 22 or so my boyfriend at the time was leaving me. I remember bawling and literally clinging to him before he walked out the door, BEGGING him not to go.

I made a complete ninny out of myself and in retrospect I totally think I was an idiot and wish I had had all this advice back then.

(btw he was a big time cheater)

Just back off now and save your face before he sees you as some clingy ninny and you end up regretting not backing off.

It's the best thing to do. Hard yes, but the best thing. Guys love a chase. To be kept on their toes. If he knows he's got you at a whim he won't want you. Let him see what he let go. As everyone says, if it's meant to be HE will come to YOU. But if he doesn't, count your losses, stiffen your jaw and move on.

So much more living yet to do for you.