[lost20]

Okay so I'm 20yrs old. My boyfriend is 21. Be both moved from our home towns to a different place and that is where we met. We've been together for 3 years planned on moving in together and getting married. Well he lived with his parents and I lived with mine. His family moved back to his hometown and as did mine. No we live about 1000 miles away from each other. My family hates him and doesn't want me to have anything to do with him. And when I told them I was moving 1/2 way across the usa to be with him they said if I did they would disown me. And my boyfriend says if I don't come out there by January its over because he can't deal with being away from me. I've tried everything to get my parents to see how much we love each other and they just don't care. I don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend and I love my mom but how do I chose?

[Fr_Chuck]

Why can't the boyfriend move there to be with you ? Why is it you that have to move.

Why can't you both move 1/2 toward each other?

And if he can stop loving you because you can't move, he does not love you really does he?

[lost20]

He doesn't want to move here because I don't even want to live here. This place sucks and there's NO jobs. And he has a really good job and I can have a good job if I go out there but the issue is just getting my mom to see that we love each other which she is to hard headed to see. And my mom is like my best friend and it sucks

[ZoeMarie]

Why does your family dislike your boyfriend?

[lost20]

Because he got arrested 2 years ago for smoking pot. But after that he stopped doing. Scared him straight I guess.

[N0help4u]

You are grown and you need to make the decision.
Do you want to stay with your parents and please them or do you want to be with him and start a life with him?
You have to make your own decisions and live with the consequences. If you move with him they may not follow through with their threats. They may but then as time goes by soften their hearts toward him, especially if he proves that he is a good guy for you.
You have to think through the pro's and con's and do what is best for you and live with your decisions. If you have no work where you are that would be a plus to get out of there.
You really can't expect him to wait on you indefinitely to move. As time goes by and he sees he is wasting his time waiting for something that isn't going to happen that is not fair to him.

[talaniman]

You're an adult, and its your decision. Everyone else will have to get use to it.

[SimpleguyJoe]

Despite what you do family has a way of forgiving and forgetting. They should always be looking out for you no matter what, I think whatever you do in the end they will come back to you.

[hiddencat12]

Your boyfriend can't expect you to move and make a choice of him or your family. If he really loved you he would understand your family is very important to you. However maybe if he moved closer your parents would be more understanding.