[peffann]

I need some advice. I dated a soldier for six months last year. I never fell so hard for anyone before in my life. I am in my mid 30's and have been in long term relationships before but this guy just sent me over the moon. 4 months before his deployment, poof gone with the wind. I was so broken hearted. He would not return my calls. I spoke to him once but I could not talk for long and I was distracted by other things in my life. Well as fate would have it we got in contact in a very strange way and he is now in iraq. I took a chance and mailed him a letter saying thank you and I was his friend and I am here for him. I got a letter back. It was amazing. Love love love love love. I was once again over the moon. I received another letter yesterday love love love but it said "i dont know where life will take us from here" I understand, I am a cool chick but I don't know what he means. Of course everything is uncertain and he owes me nothing but its mixed messages and I don't know what to think. I don't know if it was a gentle blow off or what. HELP!! :confused:

[brian1231]

I've never been deployed, but know many people who have been. It can be a VERY tough time for everyone involved.

He is going through an awful lot right now. He is in a combat zone, and that is stressful enough. He is also away from home.

Him acting strange could very well be due to this stress. My best advice would be this. Be there for him, but do not put your life on hold. Go out there, date, and meet other people, but be there for him.

[HistorianChick]

Could you have spooked him by being so intense?

I'm just reading a bit into your "love love love love love" statements... sometimes that can spook a guy.

I would look at it the way that you presented it to him, you're his friend. BE his friend. There is nothing that a soldier deployed in Iraq needs more then true friends.

Never know where this will lead, and he was honest with you in that regard.

Just be his friend.

Best of luck!

[chrissaay86]

I think that when soldiers are in iraq they tend to put everything to one side to focus on s taying alive.. he was proabably very nervous about going to Iraq and that's why he was a little off... maybe not getting seriously involved in case he never came back home... which is understandable

[AManWithNoName]

What he probubly means is, he might get killed, I'm sorry, do you know if he's seen action

Well some one once told me music was the best medicine so here listen to some of these songs, it may help
YouTube - Warren Zevon - The Indifference Of Heaven
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC6rT...eature=related

[talaniman]

When a soldier is deployed, he never knows from one minute to the next, what's going to happen.

He may appreciate your attention, considering how far away he is and where, and have intentions himself, but realistically, we never know how these guys will feel, when they come back, if they do.

I think he wants you to keep writing, but don't get carried away with flights of romantic fancy, at this time. Temper your concerns with caring thoughts, and keep the speculation about the future, to a minimum.

[Kagami]

I've been deployed to Iraq and I can tell you that the feeling of isolation you get there is very strong. You're in your own world there and have no real influence on the REAL world where you're family and friends live. At least that how I experienced it.

Maybe he didn't contact you before he left because he didn't want to start something right before he left not knowing if he'll be back to continue. He may be waiting until he gets back before he starts anything because starting a relationship overseas can be very stressful and distract him a great deal when right no he should be focusing about getting home OK. I think if you're patient and keep reminding him that you're thinking of him and how much fun you'll have when he gets back, it'll all be OK and you guys can talk about what you both really want.